Friday Five

5 things from this week....

1) Co-workers who bring me chocolate. Specifically Chunky candy bars, the giant size.

2) Dinner date with Husband, first one since before ERP was born (YES!!!)

3) A very cool new babysitter, seeing as our last sitter "left" us when she went away to college and is now a graduate of a 4 year nursing program and working on her Masters.

4) The cool new babysitter's mom, who is teaching HIM, yes our new sitter is a HIM (good role model for RR) the ins and outs of babysitting.

5) Sushi lunch at work, paid for by work

It has been a good week.... because ERP also won the baby contest and RR won the youth cake award....

Blissful Awakening

Wednesday morning brought the rude end to my time off from work and the end of RR's summer vacation. The alarm went off at 7am, and the day began. Thankfully I was still technically off from work, so I was able to take my morning slow.

Thursday I was back at work, but I had a class to attend; much closer to my home than work so I was also able to ease into the day (some).

Mind you... ERP was not sleeping during the time.  Thursday night we discovered the first "toother" had popped through and sleep mystery was solved.

Friday I was back in the office and RR had decided to go running before school.  This meant up and out, way earlier than we both had been up and out in a while.

Yawn.  Friday was a long day.

Last night I crawled into bed early.  Ready for some serious shut-eye.  Only to be awoken by ERP shortly there after.  I was concerned.  Generally speaking, if he sleeps from bedtime till after midnight it will be a good sleep night.  Waking before then and it is typically a long night.

But last night he proved me wrong, and after his little snack he slept till 4am.  From 4am to 5:30am, it was rough. Husband and I were tag teaming taking care of ERP and sleeping, or trying to sleep.  At 5:30 we opted to give him so Tylenol, he has another toother just about to pop through, and I took him back to bed with me, where he nurses till we both drift off.

Fastfoward to 8:30am... and I slowly start to wake up.  Aware that the room is brighter than I am used to. We nurse and snuggle.  Daddy wakes up and we play with Daddy.  ERP babbles, we all giggle and the day slowly starts.

Around 9am TT wakes up and comes to bed to nurse.  ERP snuggles happily with daddy.  Shortly after TT is done nursing RR wakes up.  He comes and snuggles with Husband and his brothers.

I take TT for a shower and come back to find RR snuggling with his littlest brother.

It was a quiet and relaxed morning, a blissful wake-up after the first week back at school and work.

RR then proceed to keep snuggling ERP even after I got him dressed.

Pumping on the Run

A couple weeks back I posted about how I had to go on an over night business trip.

Guess what?  I survived being away from baby.  Yup, I did.

It was tough.  The emotional part I was able to get past once I was on the road.  I was so busy the whole trip I hardly had time to think about what I was missing.  But boy, once we were on our way home I couldn't wait to see my guy.

Now pumping (breastmilk) on the go was not as easy as I thought it would be.  First of all, packing was a nightmare.  I had more pump equipment than I had work and clothing combined.  It was like getting ready to be in the Amazon for a week.  Insane.

I opted to manually pump in the car, because my boss' car didn't seem to have the right types of outlets.  This was OK, until it rained.... then I would have to get out of the car; once all of my male coworkers I was with left me, get my stuff out of the trunk, get into the back seat, pump - being careful not to get milk all over the place, get everything repacked and into the trunk.  All while trying not to get wet.  And it rained, did it ever rain.  Rained so hard we had to pull the car over on the interstate we couldn't see while driving.  So here I am pumping in the back of my boss' $60K BMW at nearly every stop on the New York State Through-way.  The one time it wasn't raining, the people parked next to us came back and stood outside their car for the longest time.  The teenage girl eating pretzels was either staring at me, or looking blanking into space... either way that sucked.

At the hotel, while my coworkers took 30 minutes before dinner to relax, I was a mad women running around to get my milk in more ice and trying to get a good pump session in with my electric pump; all while calling home to check on the kids.

Dinner was super awesome and fantastic.   It was great to eat and not have to get up and get more food for anyone, clean up any messes, or tell someone to sit in their chair and eat.  Not to mention it was one of the best steaks I ever had.  And the desert.... it was so good I took a picture of it.

Business the next morning was good.  But by the end of the meeting, oh my aching breasts.  So while my male coworkers figured out where we were going to eat for lunch, I was sitting in the back of the car again; pumping away.  This time, in the parking lot of a strip mall.

More pumping on the NYS highway system on the way home.  More rain.... and finally, finally I was home.  Back with a little over 40 ounces of milk, mostly pumped by hand in the back of the car.  Pretty proud of myself.  And my boys... they were no worse for the wear and so happy to have (and my milk) at home.

The Emotional Side

Last week, at work; I found out I had to go on a business trip. Just one night away.  Just a 6 hour drive away.  No planes, no dancing in front of multiple customers - just one customer.  Me and three of my co-workers, all men.  Driving to upstate New York.

Me a mother.  Away from my 6 month old baby.  Who I am breastfeeding.  36 hours without being able to nurse my baby.

Yes, I cried.  Being away from my baby is the last thing I want.  Not to mention it's the week before his baptism and there is tons of stuff to be done.

But my baby.  I've been away from my older boys before.  I have survived being away from TT, as a nursing mom, on a number of occasions over night.  But never, ever, ever when he was this little.

My baby is still waking multiple times a night to nurse.  Often times after his last nursing session around 5:30am we sleep together.  Him all nestled in my arm.  He like it there.  He is a pocket baby.  Hold him and hold him close.  That's what he likes.

He is also a mama's boy. Sometimes in the middle of the night when Husband is trying to console him he wants nothing but to be held by his mama.  How are they going to make it.  Just fine, Husband assures me.

But I am scared.  And nervous.

I am afraid of my baby developing a bottle preference. What if he doesn't want to nurse when I get home?  What if he is mad at me for going away? What if he isn't mama's boy anymore when I get home? Three boys, I deserve one of them to be a mama's boy.

I am fully ready physically to be away from my baby, my littlest nursling.  I have enough milk in the freezer to last the Zombie Apocalypse. I have a hand pump. I have two double electric pumps (I'll only take the better one). But I am not emotionally ready.

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking, but I would rather be in bed with him waking every couple of hours than 300 miles away sleeping soundly.  Assuming that I can sleep.

The business part of the trip is going to be good.  I just know it.  The company is going to be good on the car ride.  The hotel decent and I am sure we'll be fed well.  All of that is going to be good.

Except missing my baby.

3 Months

ERP turned 3 months old yesterday.  I told Husband I felt like this time with him was flying by, that he was growing up way to fast and I swore TT's infancy did not go by this quickly.  Husband assured me it did; but having the holidays and two birthday's plus a whole slew of other things going on since ERP's birth has made it seem like life is rushing by.

Things have been different for me, this time around.  I didn't get the baby blues or PPD like I did with TT.  I am weepy today for the first time since ERP has been born, but that has more to do with my maternity leave officially ending tomorrow than anything.

ERP is still an "easy" baby.  He had a period of 3 days of crying and being terribly inconsolable a few weeks back,  but I chalked that up to hitting one of those Wonder Weeks early.  However, since that episode he's back to waking 3 or 4 times a night; he was only waking once.  Oh well.  I am sure I will sleep again.

These days he is awake more and more, unless he's going through a growth spurt. Speaking of growing, he is getting bigger but he is still a little peanut.  He is just now growing out of his newborn size onesies.  For clothing he is wearing a 0-3 months with a couple newborn and a couple 3-6 month outfits sprinkled in.

He is babbling up a storm and has giggled for Husband and his brothers.  He is super social and loves to flash his baby smile at anyone that talks to him.  His cries have changed as well.  My favorite is his "protest" cry in which he lets out a sharp wail of totally indignity.  He has found his hands and will stare at them for hours, he is also holding toys and fingers now and batting at his toys.

We have settled on Godparents and are looking to have him baptized in June - once his Godfather gets confirmed.  What a wonderful and special Uncle he has to go through all of that for him.

Things I don't want to forget:
~ The way his bottle lip quivers at times
~ How he stops and smiles at me while we're nursing
~ How when we are nursing and my milk lets down, he rolls his eyes back - a sign of total satisfaction in my eyes
~ How he holds me shirt while he nursing
~ The smell of him first thing in the morning
~ His baby mullet with a bald spot
~ His blowing bubbles with his spit
~ How warm he feels when I hold him
~ His grin, I can't get enough of it


Sorry, no pictures now.... my phone is having cord / charging issues.

Nursing in 2s

It has been quiet a journey, this breastfeeding experience....

At 2 hours old, it is 12:40am on Wednesday February 16, 2011; nursing you is a rush of new, yet familiar feelings.  There is a sense of great relief and encouragement that you were able to latch on right away.  You are warm and smell of new baby.  I feel your skin against mine and hold you tightly.  I am excited about your birth and so pleased to finally meet you.  I am hopeful that we will have a long and lasting nursing relationship.  Sleep is one of the furthest things from my mind.

At 2 days old, on Thursday; we are discharged from the hospital.  You're bilirubin levels are elevated, but we are sent home anyways as nursing is going well and the doctors seem confident they will continue to go down as you are nursing so well.  Little did we know I would faced with a delay in lactogensis II and you would end up back in the hospital on day 3.  But day 2 is of no worries.  We snuggle, we cuddle, and we nurse and nurse and nurse some more.  You and I are learning about each other.  I am experimenting with various nursing positions learning what you like (and don't like).  We spend a lot of time laying on the couch and in the bed.

At 2 months old; it is April 15; and we are hitting our stride with nursing.  I am developing an oversupply and we are working on the best way to combat that; eventually settling on 4 to 6 hour nursing blocks.  I am starting to get worried about going back to work in another month, but confident about my ability to pump breastmilk for you because I have been pumping at home (ever since that jaundice experience) and I know the pumping is making the oversupply worse, but I so want to reach the 6 month breastfeeding mark with you.  I am starting to feel confident we will make it to that mini-goal.  You cluster nurse for hours on end in the early evening.  You also love to nurse lazily over time and it takes upwards of an hour to nurse you before bed time.  I feel like I am missing out on time with your dad and brother; but I know this is just a phase and it will pass.

At 2 years; on February 15, 2013; I am wondering how we got here.  Don't get me wrong I know how we got here, one day at a time.  I am in awe of our ability to have nursed for 2 years.  Nursing you now is typically short 5 to 10 minutes at a time and you like to switch sides frequently, especially at bedtime and this drives me nutty.  You like for me to name-off body parts for you to point to while you nurse.  You giggle when we do "nose".  You call nursing "boobies".  I often wish I picked a different name for nursing.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever nurse another child as long as you.  I think about how we are slowly weaning and following your lead.  I feel a little sad and a little liberated when I think about the time we'll no longer be nursing.  You insist that I hold my breast while you nurse.  You get mad if I don't.  I get lost staring in yours eyes while you nurse; and my heart overflows... often times I fight back tears of joy.

Vacation Not

I had plans to take vacation from work from December 22 through January 1.  Unfortunately my "vacation" got off to early start following the death of my uncle on December 17.  His funeral was the 22nd and then there was a blur in time in which we prepared for Christmas, the best we could.

Then Christmas Eve came, and RR was sick.

And then the brakes on the car went.  And we were stuck in the house for 4 days.  And it snowed.

RR and I missed Christmas Mass.  We had had plans to go to Midnight Mass.  RR was excited about going for the first time and I was looking forward to it.  But RR was sick, pretty darn sick by the time Christmas morning came; so it was just as well.  Sick kid, no brakes and snow does not make for ideal driving conditions.

Then RR started getting better.

Just in time for TT to get sick.

Thankfully the brake issue with the car was just a loose nut (which caused all the brake fluid to drain out).  So it was a fast and easy fix.

And then it snowed again.  It snowed a lot.  And TT got very sick.

Then the cat died.

TT was still running a temperature after 4 days, so we brought him to the doctors.  TT had the flu and an ear infection.

Then Husband started getting sick; just in time for me to go back to work.

So there I was at work, and I started getting sick.

Talk about a terrible vacation.

Are You There?

Yes, I'm still here.

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  Yet.

Life has been full of blog-able moments.  I have tons of stuff to share with you.  But really life has been hectic.  Isn't it for all of us this time of year?

I really am making an effort to enjoy a simpler Christmas this year, thanks to a book I recently read.  So I can't really blame my lack of blogging on that.

I'm just not a fan of December.  I have a December birthday, and I am not a fan of my birthday.  Really I would skip the day all together if I could.  Some of it has to do with my paternal-grandmother's passing and funeral back on my 25th birthday; some of it has to do with the "whole year older" BS.  Some of it is because I really don't like celebrating my birthday.  I just don't get the idea of adult birthday celebrations.  Sure it makes sense when it's a milestone like 50 or 75 or any birthday after 85 for that matter.  I don't enjoy all of the attention.

Not to mention work has been insane.  Did I tell you I got a promotion at my day job?  I have this new added responsibility of managing other people.

When did I get so old?

And responsible?

We are also going through other organization changes at work, and moving around offices; and all that fun jazz that just makes for very long days.

Oh and I have been sick.  Head cold, turning into a chest cold.  The baby is getting it as well.

Good times in our house right now.

Everyone thought I was so on the ball for doing most of my Christmas cards before thanksgiving.  I'd like to think I was a little bit of a fortune teller.  I was able to see in December and see what a train wreck it was going to be and I acted on my premonition.

And no, that does not mean I will be waiting out the end of the world with the Mayans.    

So... you want a job?

It's been a long time since I've had to look for a job.  Nearly 13 years.  That is not to say I haven't toyed around with other offers during that time; but I haven't had to put myself out there.  That being said, I would like to think that my expectations of job candidates are not that far fetched... correct me if I am wrong.

My exceptions  -

1) Send a cover letter with your resume.  Make it look like you care.

2) Do NOT address that cover letter to "Dear Sir".  Do not assume that the person reading your resume is a man.  Believe it or not, but women actually get to hire people in this day and age.  Can you believe it?

3) Take the time to read  who the contact is on the job posting and address the cover letter to that person.

4) Grammar.  Enough said.  OK, sure my grammar on this blog is terrible sometimes (most times).  But you know what? I'm not using this blog to get a job.  Besides I prefer to think of my grammar or lack thereof as "stress of conscience"  writing.

5) Spelling.

6) MS Word, which 99.9% of the resumes I get are submitted in, has functions to check grammar and spelling.  USE them.  Have I made my point yet?

7) And if you are going to use MS Word to write your resume; make it your own.  Do not reuse the qualifications and objectives that MS Word suggests.

8) Do NOT copy and paste qualifications and objectives from another document, and if you insist on doing this at least get rid of the format (font color, font type, text color, text background color) that makes it obvious you copied and pasted.

9) Do NOT say you are "proficient with MS Word" or  have "excellent written communication skills" if any of items 1 through 8 apply to you.  Any of items 1 through 8.

10) Wear a clean tie, dress socks, pressed pants, etc when you go to the interview.

11) Arrive on-time.  Not too early and not too late.  If you are late, call*.

12) Shake hands and look people in the eye.

13) Take off your winter jacket.

14) Bring a copy of your resume with you.  I know you know I have a copy; but what if someone else was to come to the meeting?

15) Research the company you are going to interview at.  Have questions.  Be prepared.

16) Do not mention your new marriage, deceased father, or other emotional baggage more than once.  I understand the need to mention these items when explaining gaps in your work history, but this is not a therapy session.

17) Send a thank you note when the interview is over.  Snail mail is great, but e-mail works too.  That is unless you don't want the job.

18) When you send that thank-you note, but not send it only to the men that interviewed you.  Remember that women that held the phone interview with you and called you in.  She is your future boss.  She will not call you back for a second interview if you offend her on this level.

I really thought I had been off my rocker by expecting these things.  I was starting to wonder if I was a little dated and not-in-the-now by expecting certain things.  But after talking with my boss, who has been hiring people for a lot longer than I have AND talking with our newest employee I realize I am not expecting too much.  This hiring process has been an eye opener for me.  It has taught my a lot about myself and what I expect of myself, and thus in turn I have learned to better "read between the lines".  Sigh... I honestly didn't think hiring someone would be so tough.

* In regards to #10 I was late for my first interview with my company.  I was really late.  I got so lost.  Keep in mind this was before everyone and their grandmother had a cell phone, before GPS, and all that fun jazz and the directions I had gotten where from a German, and his first language was clearly not English.  So I can appreciate being late, but you need to call.  If I was able to find a pay phone back in.... you do the math, then you can pick up your cell and give me a ring.

End of an Era

Quiet.  Do you hear that sound?  The faint sound of taps.

It is a sad day my friends, an era has come to an end.

On Friday morning I went to work and fired up the old calculator, and it was acting funny.  So I changed the batteries.  The screen came up, but the buttons were non-responsive.  So I pulled the battery cover off and switched the batteries around.  Thinking, hoping, praying this would be "the fix".  Again the screen fired to life, and this time the 4 key worked.  Actually, it was like a bonus because hitting the "4" would result in "464646" coming up.  Neat trick, but pretty useless for work.

After many years of cheating death, the time had finally come to retire my trusty TI-85 calculator.   

You see this calculator has been by my side for nearly 20 years - I guess I got my $110 worth.  It was purchased in high school for use in calculus classes and physics.  At one point I had etched my initials into the back of the body; since back in the day everyone who was anyone in the sciences had this calculator.  I covered it with fuzzy Whinnie the Pooh stickers and Strawberry Shortcake.  Hey, I was unique.

My TI-85 traveled with me to Long Island for college and survived math classes I could only hope to comprehend again (Calc III and Differential Equations anyone??).  I covered the case with stickers from various engineering related groups and activities (Moles outings).

In 2000 my TI-85 moved to my work desk and became my trusty side-kick, able to convert fractional to metric values in the blink of an eye.

Over the years the stickers have worn and faded.  Over the years I have felt a little immature dragging my trusty sticker covered TI-85 into meetings with customers.  Over the years the screen has started to go.  Over the years the keys got a little sticky.  Over the years I learned to rely on my TI-85 being directly to the right of my keyboard.

I ordered and received my replacement TI-85 today, bought used off Amazon for $50 (since this version was discontinued in 1997) but in excellent condition.  Why get another TI-85 and not the newest and latest version?  Because I don't need all of the features the new ones offer, AND the news one don't offer the features I need.

My old TI-85 has become TT's newest toys... TT LOVES buttons.  Sigh, if only it made noise then it would be the perfect toddler gizmo.

That Time Again

I've done one or two of these before... it's a blog hop from The Slacker Mom.  This week's hop is about how often you nursed.  

The old rule of thumb for breastfeeding a newborn is some where around the 20 minutes per side mark, with feeding every 2 to 3 hours.  It's been so long I can't recall Turkey's nursing schedule; but I can tell you when Monkey was small he would nurse for 45 minutes or better per side; every one to three hours.  He was a marathon nurser.  I remember when he was admitted to the hospital for jaundice, at 3 days old, the floor nurse told me there was no way he was nursing that much; that he must just be "snacking".  The nerve.  These are the same people that tried to get us to nurse on a schedule while he was there; that didn't work.

I've always followed his lead, and have nursed on demand.  When he went through growth spurts he would nurse every hour.  Then he went through the "cluster" feeding phase and would nurse a lot in the later afternoon; actually he still does that.

By the time he was 3 months old I had an oversupply; and had to regulate it with block nursing.  This has nothing to do with how often I fed him; but rather which side I nursed on.  I would nurse him only on one side for time blocks of 4 to 6 hours.

These days, at 15.5 months, we're still nursing on demand; with a dream feed (that I demand, LOL... ); but on days I am in the office we do nurse on more of a schedule.  6:30am, 5:30pm, 7pm, and 10pm.  When we are together we nurse more often; but usually at those times as well.

The Inevitable

Last night as we were heading off to bed I told Husband the inevitable was going to happen; Monkey was going to want to sleep in tomorrow morning.  After all, it was Monday; I had to get up to go to work and he was up with the sun over the weekend.

5:30 comes this morning and he's starting to cry in bed.  I slip into his room and we have a quick (and efficient nursing session) and he's down for the count again.  I try and go back to bed, but it's no use; and before I know it it's time to get up and get ready to go to work.

Meanwhile he slept until 7:30; when Husband woke him up.

Lucky little kid.

A Hard Day at Work

Turkey came to work with me on Monday, President's Day.  A little before 7am he was ready armed with his hard-sided leather briefcase and Spider-man backpack.  On the way into the office he dined on a banana and an ice-decaf, cinnamon flavored; while listening to The Magician's Nephew by CS Lewis.

Upon arriving at my office he quickly unpacked his laptop, got it hooked up to the internet and spilled Legos out all over the floor.  He then proceed to play with Lego until around 9:30, at which time he took up drawing portraits of family members.  I scanned and e-mailed Husband his copy.  Complaining he was hungry, he enjoyed his yogurt before going to raid the vending machine (for a Giant Texas cookie).

At 9:30 he decided to play Gumball on-line and proceed to talk to himself as loud as possible.  This lasted until around 10:30; at which time he grabbed his blanket and curled up in the corner by my desk and read one of his Wimpy Kid books.  Enjoying a gobstopper during this process and sharing with the office his ability to bite into them (ouch!!!).

A little after 11:30 we headed out to lunch; where he enjoyed a grilled cheese and fries while we played "20 Questions".

After lunch he decided it was time to write comic books, and he began what is to be an 8-part series of The Adventures of Captain Burst and Mr. Slingshot.  He completed the first two books in the series.  Once completed he shared them with everyone he could.  This was followed by more Wimpy Kid reading and Lego playing.

Around 3:30 the end of the day boredom hit, so I printed him off a few word searches (including a President's Day one)... and he coasted on that until 4:30.

On the way out he stopped by HR and scored us some good dark chocolate... and then proceed to complain on the way home because he prefers white chocolate... ah the  life.

ch-ch-ch-changes....

This March I will have been at my company for 12 years.  12 fast and yet very long years.  I certainly have a love-hate relationship with my job, I always have... but it's not what I see myself doing for the next 12 years.  Not unless by some magical stroke I could do it from home on a full-time basis... but I'd probably only last another 5 years that way... certainly not 12.

That being said, over the summer Husband and I talked, and he supports me in my desire to start upon a new career path.  I've done my homework and my research and I'm going to have to take some classes and do some volunteer work and take some tests to get what I want but in the end I should be happy.

Why?  Because I'll be doing something I have passion in.  Like I said, I have a love-hate relationship with my job; which is great and all, but honestly I am not passionate about it.  Don't get me wrong factory automation is great and all, and I'm all for American manufacturing but I have no desire to make this field my life's work.

So here's to starting on a new adventure in 2012.

And yes I am scared, but hey if I don't at least give it a shot I'll never know what could have been.

Home

A little while ago I was thinking that this holiday weekend was the longest time I had been home in a while.

But then I realized that I went out with Turkey yesterday morning, to Christmas Mass.  Does that count as going out?  Sure we got dressed up and headed out in the frigid temps for nearly 2 hours, but that is more like home away from home.

It has been so nice to be home.... so relaxing, so right, so peaceful.  And I have a sick baby to thank for that.

Christmas Eve my mother, brother and his better half came over as planned.  Dinner was nice and easy and the conversation... was sidesplitting-ly funny.  Later that night Monkey's temp crept from 101 to 103 and we decided to stay home on Christmas Day.

In the end I think that was the best gift of all (and thankfully his temp is now down to right around 100)... time at home with my loves.  Once we got home from Mass I put my new PJs on and stayed that way ALL DAY.  We had a dinner of leftovers from Christmas Eve (we weren't planning on being home for dinner and I didn't feel like cooking), we played with the new toys, and snuggled on the coach watching Christmas movies.

Today I got up and showered and put on a fresh pair of PJs; then just puttered around the house.  Enjoying my boys and getting some cleaning done.  Maybe, just maybe tomorrow I will get dressed.

A Reminder

Yesterday I had gotten a Christmas card at work from a customer, and I wanted to share it with you all as it's a good reminder not just for the holidays but for life in general.  Sadly, the card would not scan in well.

The card is white and a pine tree is featured on the top right side.  The pine tree has little woodland creatures sitting in and around it.  Cut into the card are footprints, which creates the idea of walking in a winter wonderland.  When you open the card a snow angel is cut into the heavy cardstock.

The text is simple... "Take pleasure in the small things this holiday season."

The Things About Nursing

I love nursing my little one.  It's a fact and I am so happy we've made it as long as we have.  We've made it longer than many, while the data is somewhat conflicting depending on the source; it is estimated that less than half of babies were breastfeed (less than 15% exclusively breastfed) at 6 months.  And here we are nearing 10 months of breastfeeding... and we've hit a hiccup.

For me breastfeeding has been fairly early.  I haven't encountered many of the pains and issues associated with breastfeeding.  And I've been very lucky to not only have breastfeeding friendly doctor for myself, but for Monkey as well.

Today that changed.

I have a clogged milk duct.  This happened once before, and it was easy to fix with a nice long nursing session.

Today is different from that time, as I am at work.  I tried to get Monkey to nurse it out before I left, but he was already full and was not interested in helping his mama out.  So here I am, at work, trying to dealing with this as discreetly as possible.  This is not going so well.

I was using a damp wool nursing pad as a hot compress, microwaving it to warm it up.  But then I burnt it.  And everyone wanted to know why the office smelled (not that I admitted a thing).

And it's hard to get in frequent pumping sessions when you have work to do and can't pump at your desk.

And forget about trying to massage my breast at my desk to work the lump out.... that is so NOT happening.

Oh... and I think the other side is now working on a clog as well... it's starting to get tender.

So here's to hoping for the best, that I can beat this clog and not have to worry about mastitis.

Counting the hours till I am at home with my baby... who is hopefully going to help his mama out this time.

Lobster Ravioli

Ahh... the corporate Christmas (or Holiday as some prefer to say) Party.  An old stoic tradition which to me brings visions of 80s glam fashion, big hair, cognac sipping, cigar puffing big wigs all standing around shaking hands while the mail boy twirls from a light fixture wearing a Santa hat.

My work Christmas parties are nothing like that.

Years ago they were parties; lots of drinking with some really good food, and some more drinking.  At least once, in my pre-kid days (and never since) I was cut off from the bar at said Christmas party.  But I wasn't alone, co-workers and their wives were cut off as well.

Gone are those days of reckless abandon at my work Christmas party.  We've all grown up in the last 12 or so years.  

Last year marked the first year the Christmas party was for employees only.  

Last year also marked the first year I didn't attend.  Not only could I not bring Husband, but it was on my birthday, and I was 7 months pregnant.  (Not that the pregnant part stopped me from attending and laughing at all the drunks in the past.)

This year I am faced with the dilemma to attend or not attend.  

Part of me feels it's my "employee duty" to show up and make small talk and help booster a positive work environment through such activities. The other part of me cannot get over the fact that cocktails don't start till 6pm, dinner starts at 7pm (if they start on time which they never do).  By the time dinner and desert is done (if I went there is no way I would leave without desert) it's easily 9pm.  Add to that an hour drive home, and it's 10pm.  This puts me away from my kids, who I don't see enough of anyhow; for 15 hours.  Not to mention this is a nursing / pumping mother's nightmare.  It's not like I could pump at the party; and from 6pm to 10pm is prime nursing time for the little one.  

But the menu sounds so yummy...

click to enlarge

... and the idea of some "grown-up time" sipping a glass of red wine sounds fantastic.  

But I would much rather go on a date with Husband.  Ahh... if only they let spouses go, like in the good ol' days; this decision would be so much easier.  

hmmm.... filet mignon, lobster ravioli.... chocolate truffles....

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Working Mom Guilt

At some time or another, almost every mom that works outside the home goes through "working mom guilt".  It's one of those things that comes and goes.  I know I personally suffer from it more days than not, and usually I am not too bad at beating myself up over it.

Until a note comes home from school.

Make that two notes home from school, on the same day.  One from Turkey's teacher about him crying because he misses his mom, and one from Turkey himself.

"Dear Mommy, I miss you while you are at work.  (sad faces... then hearts) Sincerely, ... "

Senior Design Project

A long time ago, in a far away galaxy I was a senior in college, majoring in engineering.  And as such I had to work on a "senior design project".  This is pretty standard fair to engineering majors.  Basically it's a semester long project that you work with your team on to develop various designs in your engineering concentration.  I recall working on my project with Stevie L and another guy, I want to say his name was Gary.  We had to find a plot of land, and design a building for that plot.  I worked on the septic system, drainage and the parking lot design; as the summer before I had a job doing just that for a survey company.  In the months we slaved away on this project, I don't think we ever called a professional and picked their brain; unless you count our academic adviser... and getting answers from him was like water from a stone.

Now a days, it seems like it's the normal for college students to call on professionals for assistance.

I can always tell when a new semester of college is starting because the calls at work start; Student X from University of Wherever is calling to discuss their senior design project.  The calls all begin the same, the student can barely get their name out of their mouth without tripping over their words, and it's always followed by "I found your company on the internet."  So I suppose the internet is to blame for this whole phenomena.  They want to talk details on a project that is not fully defined and they want me to do complex math calculations for them; and to provide to them details as to why or why not their hair brained idea will work.

Here's the thing I am a SALES engineer.  Emphasis on sales.  The more I sell, the more my quarterly bonus is (any my new transmission is thankful for that).  Talking to college students and being coerced by them to do THEIR homework does not help ME sell anything.  (Yes, sometimes it is all about me.)  They are not going to buy, they do not have real money.  I have real customers to talk to, real customers to design products for, real customers to create proposals for.  Real customers who trust me, and don't want to "see my math" on design criteria.

I asked my  boss how to deal with these calls, and he mentioned (under his breath) something about poor reception and dropping calls.  I will admit I tried this (not my finest moment); but the president students call back.  Good thing I have a colleague who is slicker with these kids than me.

I just pray that when these students enter the work force they encounter dealing with students just like this.  Oh, and they get a better grasp linguistic skills.