Pumping on the Run

A couple weeks back I posted about how I had to go on an over night business trip.

Guess what?  I survived being away from baby.  Yup, I did.

It was tough.  The emotional part I was able to get past once I was on the road.  I was so busy the whole trip I hardly had time to think about what I was missing.  But boy, once we were on our way home I couldn't wait to see my guy.

Now pumping (breastmilk) on the go was not as easy as I thought it would be.  First of all, packing was a nightmare.  I had more pump equipment than I had work and clothing combined.  It was like getting ready to be in the Amazon for a week.  Insane.

I opted to manually pump in the car, because my boss' car didn't seem to have the right types of outlets.  This was OK, until it rained.... then I would have to get out of the car; once all of my male coworkers I was with left me, get my stuff out of the trunk, get into the back seat, pump - being careful not to get milk all over the place, get everything repacked and into the trunk.  All while trying not to get wet.  And it rained, did it ever rain.  Rained so hard we had to pull the car over on the interstate we couldn't see while driving.  So here I am pumping in the back of my boss' $60K BMW at nearly every stop on the New York State Through-way.  The one time it wasn't raining, the people parked next to us came back and stood outside their car for the longest time.  The teenage girl eating pretzels was either staring at me, or looking blanking into space... either way that sucked.

At the hotel, while my coworkers took 30 minutes before dinner to relax, I was a mad women running around to get my milk in more ice and trying to get a good pump session in with my electric pump; all while calling home to check on the kids.

Dinner was super awesome and fantastic.   It was great to eat and not have to get up and get more food for anyone, clean up any messes, or tell someone to sit in their chair and eat.  Not to mention it was one of the best steaks I ever had.  And the desert.... it was so good I took a picture of it.

Business the next morning was good.  But by the end of the meeting, oh my aching breasts.  So while my male coworkers figured out where we were going to eat for lunch, I was sitting in the back of the car again; pumping away.  This time, in the parking lot of a strip mall.

More pumping on the NYS highway system on the way home.  More rain.... and finally, finally I was home.  Back with a little over 40 ounces of milk, mostly pumped by hand in the back of the car.  Pretty proud of myself.  And my boys... they were no worse for the wear and so happy to have (and my milk) at home.

Nursing in 2s

It has been quiet a journey, this breastfeeding experience....

At 2 hours old, it is 12:40am on Wednesday February 16, 2011; nursing you is a rush of new, yet familiar feelings.  There is a sense of great relief and encouragement that you were able to latch on right away.  You are warm and smell of new baby.  I feel your skin against mine and hold you tightly.  I am excited about your birth and so pleased to finally meet you.  I am hopeful that we will have a long and lasting nursing relationship.  Sleep is one of the furthest things from my mind.

At 2 days old, on Thursday; we are discharged from the hospital.  You're bilirubin levels are elevated, but we are sent home anyways as nursing is going well and the doctors seem confident they will continue to go down as you are nursing so well.  Little did we know I would faced with a delay in lactogensis II and you would end up back in the hospital on day 3.  But day 2 is of no worries.  We snuggle, we cuddle, and we nurse and nurse and nurse some more.  You and I are learning about each other.  I am experimenting with various nursing positions learning what you like (and don't like).  We spend a lot of time laying on the couch and in the bed.

At 2 months old; it is April 15; and we are hitting our stride with nursing.  I am developing an oversupply and we are working on the best way to combat that; eventually settling on 4 to 6 hour nursing blocks.  I am starting to get worried about going back to work in another month, but confident about my ability to pump breastmilk for you because I have been pumping at home (ever since that jaundice experience) and I know the pumping is making the oversupply worse, but I so want to reach the 6 month breastfeeding mark with you.  I am starting to feel confident we will make it to that mini-goal.  You cluster nurse for hours on end in the early evening.  You also love to nurse lazily over time and it takes upwards of an hour to nurse you before bed time.  I feel like I am missing out on time with your dad and brother; but I know this is just a phase and it will pass.

At 2 years; on February 15, 2013; I am wondering how we got here.  Don't get me wrong I know how we got here, one day at a time.  I am in awe of our ability to have nursed for 2 years.  Nursing you now is typically short 5 to 10 minutes at a time and you like to switch sides frequently, especially at bedtime and this drives me nutty.  You like for me to name-off body parts for you to point to while you nurse.  You giggle when we do "nose".  You call nursing "boobies".  I often wish I picked a different name for nursing.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever nurse another child as long as you.  I think about how we are slowly weaning and following your lead.  I feel a little sad and a little liberated when I think about the time we'll no longer be nursing.  You insist that I hold my breast while you nurse.  You get mad if I don't.  I get lost staring in yours eyes while you nurse; and my heart overflows... often times I fight back tears of joy.

Books in the Basement

When you live in the sticks (or is it from the lack of municiple funding these days) you need to either higher a private rubbish removal company or buy special bags and haul your stuff crap to the transfer station yourself.  When we moved out here 3 years ago we first opted for the special bags.  However we soon learned that this did not fit into our schedule so well; so we've been a slave to the private rubbish removal business ever since.

Last summer we started talking about renting a dumpster and taking a week and cleaning out all of the "stuff" we have in the attic and basement.  Honestly, we have boxes in both places that haven't been opened since we moved.  But we never got around to doing this; then we noticed some of our neighbors had dumpsters on their properties versus a large can that gets picked up weekly.  So Husband looked into this option and for a bit more a month we now have a small-ish dumpster and a smaller-small-ish recycling dumpster in the far corner of our driveway.

Having these has allowed us to slowly and surely go through all of the things we've amassed over the years and downsize.  It's been liberating to throw out my band jacket from 1990-something, along with other items that were simply taking up space.

However with all the good steps we've taken in downsizing we're bound to pick-up a few new treasures along the way.  One such event that we would find said treasures at is "The Friends of the Library" bi-annual book sale event.  We go the last weekend every time it rolls around and stock up on 50 cent books and the like.

We've been looking forward to the spring sale, coming this weekend, for about a month now... and I had just finished a book so I was really looking forward to going.  But then this weekend while working in the basement I found two boxes of my old books.  Swoon, I am in love.

Right now I am reading "Pink Slip Party" by Cara Lockwood.  This book is a classic chic lit and a fast read.  I couldn't tell you the last time I read it and I am loving every moment.  I also found my copy of "Breaking the Good Mom Myth" by Alyson Schafer.  This was my bible when Turkey was Monkey's age and I don't think I would have made it with my sanity in tact without it.  I am so so so looking forward to diving into this one again.

And then there are my Kurt Vonnegut books.  Oh, I love me some Kurt Vonnegut.  And I'm not talking his standard text of Slaughter House 5, which I suspect every public high school student in 1990s read, I'm talking about his threaded works in "Cat's Cradle" through "God Bless You Mr. Rosewater".  Can you hear my heart beating a little faster... ah... love....


I'm honestly considering starting to pump again at work, just so I can have a 10 minute break to read while pumping.  Hey, it would be beneficial to me and the baby.  Right?

Now, if only I could find my copy of "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith.  Perhaps, it's tucked away in a box in the attic.

The Things About Nursing

I love nursing my little one.  It's a fact and I am so happy we've made it as long as we have.  We've made it longer than many, while the data is somewhat conflicting depending on the source; it is estimated that less than half of babies were breastfeed (less than 15% exclusively breastfed) at 6 months.  And here we are nearing 10 months of breastfeeding... and we've hit a hiccup.

For me breastfeeding has been fairly early.  I haven't encountered many of the pains and issues associated with breastfeeding.  And I've been very lucky to not only have breastfeeding friendly doctor for myself, but for Monkey as well.

Today that changed.

I have a clogged milk duct.  This happened once before, and it was easy to fix with a nice long nursing session.

Today is different from that time, as I am at work.  I tried to get Monkey to nurse it out before I left, but he was already full and was not interested in helping his mama out.  So here I am, at work, trying to dealing with this as discreetly as possible.  This is not going so well.

I was using a damp wool nursing pad as a hot compress, microwaving it to warm it up.  But then I burnt it.  And everyone wanted to know why the office smelled (not that I admitted a thing).

And it's hard to get in frequent pumping sessions when you have work to do and can't pump at your desk.

And forget about trying to massage my breast at my desk to work the lump out.... that is so NOT happening.

Oh... and I think the other side is now working on a clog as well... it's starting to get tender.

So here's to hoping for the best, that I can beat this clog and not have to worry about mastitis.

Counting the hours till I am at home with my baby... who is hopefully going to help his mama out this time.

Lobster Ravioli

Ahh... the corporate Christmas (or Holiday as some prefer to say) Party.  An old stoic tradition which to me brings visions of 80s glam fashion, big hair, cognac sipping, cigar puffing big wigs all standing around shaking hands while the mail boy twirls from a light fixture wearing a Santa hat.

My work Christmas parties are nothing like that.

Years ago they were parties; lots of drinking with some really good food, and some more drinking.  At least once, in my pre-kid days (and never since) I was cut off from the bar at said Christmas party.  But I wasn't alone, co-workers and their wives were cut off as well.

Gone are those days of reckless abandon at my work Christmas party.  We've all grown up in the last 12 or so years.  

Last year marked the first year the Christmas party was for employees only.  

Last year also marked the first year I didn't attend.  Not only could I not bring Husband, but it was on my birthday, and I was 7 months pregnant.  (Not that the pregnant part stopped me from attending and laughing at all the drunks in the past.)

This year I am faced with the dilemma to attend or not attend.  

Part of me feels it's my "employee duty" to show up and make small talk and help booster a positive work environment through such activities. The other part of me cannot get over the fact that cocktails don't start till 6pm, dinner starts at 7pm (if they start on time which they never do).  By the time dinner and desert is done (if I went there is no way I would leave without desert) it's easily 9pm.  Add to that an hour drive home, and it's 10pm.  This puts me away from my kids, who I don't see enough of anyhow; for 15 hours.  Not to mention this is a nursing / pumping mother's nightmare.  It's not like I could pump at the party; and from 6pm to 10pm is prime nursing time for the little one.  

But the menu sounds so yummy...

click to enlarge

... and the idea of some "grown-up time" sipping a glass of red wine sounds fantastic.  

But I would much rather go on a date with Husband.  Ahh... if only they let spouses go, like in the good ol' days; this decision would be so much easier.  

hmmm.... filet mignon, lobster ravioli.... chocolate truffles....

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

The smell of....

Palmolive, takes me back to Monkey's early days when he was admitted to the Children's Hospital for jaundice.(If you missed the blog post about this, you can find it here.)

Recently at work, someone brought in this dish soap for all to use.  It's the old school Palmolive as well, the dark green liquid in the tall slender bottle.  The big version of the little tiny bottle they gave me at the hospital.  My milk had just started coming in when he was admitted, and because his levels were so high I had to nurse him them pump, show the nurse how much I pumped and then bottle fed him the breastmilk.  This created a lot of dishes, if you will.  So the nurse brought me a little tiny bottle of Palmolive and a dish bin, and after each pumping session I had to go into our bathroom and wash the pump parts.  

And now, every time at work, when I wash my dishes I think back to those early days.  I can recall the fear, anxiety and worry Husband and I experienced.  I can see Monkey laying in the little isolete with the blue lights on and his special sunglasses.  I remember how much he fussed and cried in there, how all he wanted to do was be held and all we wanted to do was hold him.  I can see our little bathroom in the hospital, bad lighting and all.  I can see myself washing the dishes in the sink, worried that something bigger was wrong.  Every time I was alone, in the bathroom washing away, I would think about all of the other parents out there who were struggling with bigger problems with their kids, and my heart ached for them while at the same time marveling at the strength of friends of mine who had been through these struggles. 

It's funny, how a smell can bring you back like that.  Do you have any memories triggered like this?  Please share.  

What the Piggy Ate

Yesterday I compared my baby, while nursing, to a piglet, and after I made the post I felt I should have let you all know what he ate yesterday... so here it is.

Bottle of breastmilk from Daddy at 3:30am (we alternate between who does this), and then he nursed at 6:30am.  While I was at work, he took 4 bottles (10 ounces total) and had breakfast, oatmeal with mixed fruit.  When I got home from work at 5:30pm he nursed, then we had dinner.  He had penne pasta with tomato and garlic sauce, applesauce (homemade by his brother), and Greek yogurt.  He then nursed at 7pm and went to bed.  I gave him a dream feed at 10pm, before I went to bed.

So yeah.... I think he is a little piggy.

In Honor of WBW

Today is the last day of The World Breastfeeding Week; so in honor of this event here are some pictures of Monkey and I doing just that - breastfeeding (and a few related topic ones).

Just born and trying to figure it out.

Getting more comfortable with breastfeeding at the hospital.

At home snoozing (both of us) after Monkey nursing.

Yum!!  Monkey's Easter dinner.

Why yes, this is a picture of the circus. We nursed several times during the show. 

A weeks worth of pumped milk, some 40 ounces.

Nursing while strawberry picking.

I love this shirt.

Love this shirt even more: it says "I eat at mom's"

Product Review: EvenFlo SimplyGo

In this blog-post, Sucky-ness, I wrote about how I had to run out and buy an emergency hand pump at work.  I promised a review... so here you go.

The pump I bought was an EvenFlo SimplyGo Manual.  If I had to give it a rating I would give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.  It was better than I thought it would be.

Pros:

• It was in-expensive.  Typically sells for $20, I got it for $16 with a coupon.
• It is compact.  It easily stores in my desk at work and takes up very little room in the fridge.
• It is lightweight.  (Ok, anything is lightweight compared to the electric hospital model I typically drag around).
• It does the job, fairly well.  I can hand express 3 ounces in less than 10 minutes.  (Note: I have a huge oversupply, so don't take my word that you will get the same results.)
• The blue rubber cushion can be removed (needed for larger boobies)

Cons:

• The blue rubber cushion.  You can't see how your nipple is positioned through this.
• It's not as comfortable to use with the rubber cushion removed.
• No option for different horn or cone sizes.
• The band that provides all the action looks flimsy. They do give you a spare.  

Green vs. Yellow

Poop.  Warning: This is a blog post about poop.  So if you find talk about infant bowel movements to be disturbing... you are welcome to come back another day (and I hope you do).  Do if you read on and are offended, don't say I didn't warn you.

Bowel movements (BM) are something all parents of small children talk about.  Heck, I still talk about Turkey's on occasion and he's 7.  But it seems like the younger the child the more you discuss this.  Before you're a parent talking about BMs may make you feel uneasy, then you have your bundle of joy and you find yourself comparing poops with your friends, talking about it with your spouse and pediatrician, and looking for pictures of it on-line.

Turkey is a breastfeed (100%) baby.  And as such his BMs are expected to be yellow, slightly liquidous with small seed like particle.  It smells, but it doesn't stink; if that makes any sense.  If you're wondering what they look like; check here.

For me it is a nearly constant battle to keep Money's BMs yellow.  More times than I would like to see his BMs are green (and once we had some blood, poor little guy).  The green (along with the blood) are by-products of my oversupply.  Very basically an oversupply is a "too much milk", more specifically an imbalance of fore and hind milk (Although not all the experts agree on this point. I find far too many time the experts are not agreeing in the world of all things baby.)

I've heard many times (on-line and in my breastfeeding group) that some moms would kill for an oversupply, and how they just can't seem to produce enough milk.  And while I am sure this is a validated complaint; an oversupply is a curse.  Aside from the battle to keep the poop yellow, Monkey often chokes at the breast; especially early on during a nursing session as I have a very forceful let-down (milk coming down). A forceful let down is painful, very.  And is often associated with an oversupply.  My oversupply can also cause gas and spit-up for Monkey, and it creates a number of "annoying" habits while nursing.

I had had my oversupply in check, until I went back to work.  To correct it I had been "block nursing", which in my case was feeding from the same breast for 5 hour blocks (typically nursing moms feed from both breasts at all feedings, starting with the one they ended on last time).  But pumping, both breasts at the same time, at work for the last 3 weeks has increased my supply yet again.  For the last week and a half Husband and I have been on poop patrol; checking the color and hoping for the yellow to come back; and poor Monkey has been gassy and fussy.

This weekend I cut out one of my home pumping session and I increased my block feedings to six hours... and the finally late this afternoon we struck GOLD; well actually yellow.  Monkey's last two BMs of the day (he goes like five times) were yellow.  Husband and I were both thrilled.  We were positively giddy actually over the yellow poo.

Tomorrow at work, on the advice of a lactation consultant, I am only going to pump one side per session.  Part of me is afraid of decreasing my supply; but I keep telling myself with an oversupply like I have is this really an issue?  However, if I can't pump the same amount he's eating while I am gone I will stop.  Wish my luck, I need this to work as quitting my job to have an ideal nursing schedule is just not possible.  And I really need my baby to be less gassy and smiley and happy.

Sucky-ness

Is that even a word? Sucky-ness? According to my spell-checker it is not, but I am going to go with it.

This is the one word that can think of right now to describe last night and this morning.

I have learned that if Monkey is going to have really rough night, he will be up before or shortly after midnight. So when he woke up because Daddy tripped going to the bathroom at 11pm, I should have known it was going to be a long night.  After that Monkey nursed and was put back down around midnight.

Around 2am he was up again, and we nursed again and again he went down.  But he didn't want to go down, he wanted to be cute and coo and play.  Not my idea of a good time at 2am, especially when I need to be up  at 6am to go to the office.  At 2:30 Turkey came into our room.  He had a nightmare (he's had a lot of those lately).  I welcomed him to bed, and brought Monkey with us, nursing him again.  Around 3:30 I was able to get Turkey back into his bed, only for him to return at 4am because there were bugs in his room (have I told you yet about his bug phobia?).  Of course Monkey is awake, his big brother was around and he LOVES his big brother.  This makes the 2 hour point until I need to get up for work.  With this thought I decide I am quitting, wake up Husband tell him Monkey is awake, Turkey is back in our bed and I am going to sleep on the couch (he has told me if this happens again to get his "ass up sooner").  While laying on the couch I hear Husband spraying Turkey's room with air freshener (aka bug killer).  At 5am Husband comes down and urges me to come back to bed, he is going to give Monkey a breast-milk bottle.  So I go upstairs, reset my alarm for 6:30am, and nurse Monkey who is fussing while waiting for the bottle.  Husband feeds him, I nurse him again and we drift off to sleep around 6am.

6:30am comes and I am up.  I decide to skip nursing Monkey before leaving as he just ate 30 minutes ago.  I pack up my pump, or at least I think I do, write a quick note to Turkey's teacher and grab my laptop and lunch and head to the office (an hour away).

I get into the office 10 minutes late, not bad for getting up 30 minutes late.  I am feeling pretty good, tired but good.

Normally I pump at 9am (getting to the office at 8am), but today I want to pump right away; because my left side is engorged.  So I chit-chat with my boss, turn on my computer and bring my pump into the back room where I "do my milkin' business".  As I am setting it up I realize I left my pump horns at home.  I can see them sitting in the dry rack next to the sink.  D'Oh.  Major D'Oh moment.  I hand pump 2 ounces to relieve some pressure, and begin my over-tired panic attack.

Husband can't bring me the parts I need, lunch is 3+ hours away and I have a vendor coming at 11am (and this vendor is known for being early or late, but never on time).  I hand pump again after an hour, I am feeling deflated and seriously overtired, I  am afraid going to kill my milk supply.  I look for help and words of encouragement on-line.  I mention my situation to HR in passing, she suggests taking an early lunch and getting a manual pump.  I have 45 minutes till my vendor is to arrive.  I send my boss a quick e-mail and dash out the door, with a 20% off coupon in hand.

I pick up a $20 ($16 with my coupon) manual hand-pump, EvenFlo SimplyGo, dash back to work and pump.  Ah... relief, sweet relief.  I was so happy, so much more awake and alert (despite the lack of sleep).  I step out of the back room, pop my pump in the fridge and as I am closing the door I hear my boss and our vendor on the stairs.  I did!!!  Super Mom did it again.  (Or at least I like to think that.)

In the end I pumped a little over 12 ounces at work today with it, not bad considering it was really only half a day and I normally get 15 ounces with my double electric hospital grade model.

Review of pump to follow shortly, I want to use it a little more first.

I Survived

Yesterday was my first day back in the office from maternity leave.  I had stopped going into the office about 2 weeks before Monkey was born, before that I was only going in once or twice a week since the beginning of the year.  So I was a little nervous about going in - aside from missing my baby, worrying about pumping (man do I have a lot of stuff to haul back and forth now), how Husband would manage... I was also nervous about all the internal changes at work.  New co-workers (4 of them to meet), new rules, new procedures, where to pump in private, and the same old drama.  But in the end I survived.

My day actually went by rather quickly. It was helpful to know that today I would be working from home (unfortunately this thought will not be helpful the next 2 days because they are both office days).  Tons of time was wasted chatting my my boss and catching up on the happenings.  And then when you're pumping every 2.5 hours that really breaks up the day.

I was able to pump 18 ounces at work, 3 more than Monkey ate.  This is a good thing.  But then one of the bottles leaked all over the inside of the fridge, so I was only able to bring home 11 ounces.  Thank goodness for my huge freezer stash.

When I got home life was crazy, it's just so late and Monkey goes to bed so early, and he wanted to nurse, but then he wanted to cry and nurse and cry and nurse (poor little guy).  Not to mention Turkey needs attention and help with his homework.  And then there is this thing called dinner.  And to not make anything easier the brakes on my car went the day before, so I was driving Grandma's car and meeting with my neighbor who was fixing my car (thanks, Jen).  Husband had to go to the bank, and we had other errands to do.  The night was simply crazy.  It made the whole "going to the office" part of the day seem like the easy part.  But again, I did survive.

I'm thinking that if I keep reminding myself I survived on Tuesday I will survive without loosing it on Thursday and Friday.