Good-bye Maternity Clothes

Tonight I said good-bye to my maternity clothes. Three pregnancies over 11 years worth of maternity clothes.

Gone.

Out of my closet.
Out of my life.

I kept a few favorite pieces. Like the very first piece of maternity clothing I ever bought, back in the summer of 2003 when I was expecting RR. A jean-jumper. Which I will be honest, I wore last weekend strawberry picking.

I kept a holiday themed shirt that I wore often in my pregnancies with TT and ERP. It reads "Baby the Gift that Keeps On Giving".

But the rest of it; which honestly and sadly seemed to have more style to it than my everyday clothing; is gone.

Off to see another mama through her third pregnancy. After her maternity clothes went missing.

My maternity winter jacket I had passed on this past winter to a friend.

Off, out, and gone out of my life.

It's a little sad.

It's a turning point.

But I like to think of the new people wearing them. Of the other new beginnings they will see.

Super awesome swimsuit - GONE

The dress I wore to so many weddings - GONE

This well loved outfit from TT's birth - GONE

Had this shirt through three pregnancies - GONE

This is one I had to keep.

And this one.

Also gone - but look how cute?

And it's worth it... because I have these three guys and this stud muffin to show for it.

Induction & Introduction (part 2 of 2)

Once we knew the day baby was coming, life around the house seemed to be calmer.  I will admit that knowing we were going for an induction felt like cheating.  I feel like I am missing part of the baby's birth story.  I wonder, what day would HE have chosen to be born.  Would he have come late as my gut was telling me?  Would he have come in the middle of the night or the middle of a snow storm?  Would we have made it to the hospital on time, or would it be another crazy birth story for me?  What would have been my first sign of labor?

None of these questions can get answered.  But we were able to make his birth just as memorable and special.  We were able to do things we wouldn't have done had we not opted for the induction.  The days and nights before I made extra certain that I spent one on one time alone, with each of the bigger boys. I was able to (with the help of Husband) have the house spotless and all of the laundry done before hand.  The day before the induction was a good one for us - our van had been in the body shop from an accident 3 weeks prior and was finally ready; and we took the boys out to dinner - one last time as a family of 4.  That night after my shower; Husband drew a heart on my stomach and everyone wrote a special message to the baby.   Everyone at the hospital LOVED this idea and commented on it, and read the messages.

We left for the hospital a little after 7am on Thursday December 5.  We had only told our parents and one or two other people about the induction.  Because there was no guarantee that our induction plan would work, and I was not willing to try pitocin or other means to induce; there was a chance that after 12 hours I would be sent home with a "failed induction".

We met my mom at the hospital for 8am and I was quickly hooked up to the IV to receive the antibiotics.  My mom and the boys hung around for a little bit, and then she left with them for breakfast and to take care of her horses.  Husband and I joked around with my nurse while she put all of my information into the computer.

Around 9am my midwife (MW) came in and inserted the Cervadil.  For the next couple of hours DH and I just hung out.  We watched TV, walked the hallways, talked to the nurses.  I had some contractions, but nothing I would consider the onset of labor - they were no more intense or frequent than what I had been having at home on and off for weeks.  At noon I had another round of IV antibiotics (I was off the IV pole, aside from the one hour increments it took to administer the meds).  Lunch was brought in during this round, chicken Parmesan - which I found funny as I had ordered that the night before at dinner.  It was good and I was starving and ate most of it, but I did draw the line at the salad which had more diced onion in it that seemed possible.  Within 30 minutes lunch was back with a vengeance and I couldn't help but wonder who gives all this acidic and spicy food to a woman in labor?

Around 1pm my MW came back in and moved the Cervadil closer to my cervix and she stripped my membranes.  My mom stopped in with the boys when this was done, and I nursed TT a little (my MW said it would help bring on labor).  Husband left with them to grab a bite to eat for lunch and I hung out in the room and then went for a walk.  During the walk I realized that labor was imminent.  I got back to the room and was about to call Husband on his cell when he showed up.  Shortly after that my MW was back, I am guessing it was around 2pm at this time. I asked if I could labor in the shower (it was one of those hydro-steam showers) and was told that was fine.  At first I labored alone in the shower; then I realized I needed Husband in there with me and sent him running for his shorts (which where in his bag out in the car).  In no time at all he was back and helping me through the contractions.  While I was in the shower my MW checked my cervix and I was about 3-4 cm and the baby's head was very low.... that seemed to be the entire labor - baby's station was ahead of my cervix; apparently he was more ready than I was for him to be born.  It was also during this time that I realized I really was having another child - that I really had been pregnant for the last 9 months and this WAS happening.

I had to get back into bed for my MW to remove the Cervadil (which she was awesome about and I was wrapped in heated towels) and as I was laboring in bed I started to have some very painful contractions.  These brought back sharp memories of my labor with TT and being trapped in the car.  I cried a little and was very afraid of going through "that" experience again.  My MW suggested the birthing ball; which sounded like and turned out to be a great idea.  I sat on the ball for the longest while.  Husband coached me through my breathing and MW gave the BEST back and hip massages to go along with my contractions.  She stayed with us for the longest time until she had to step out briefly and Husband took over.  During this period I started to really have to vocalize through the contractions and unfortunately it was also time for another round of IV medications.

So by best guess this was shortly after 5pm, as they are given every 4 hours.  One of the things that really struck me with this labor is I had no concept of time or exactly how fast my labor was progressing.  There was no timing of my contractions, there were no internal checks of my cervix - my MW was able to move me through labor based simply on how I was acting.  Even when I was ready to push she didn't insist on checking to "make sure" I was complete.  

As soon as I was hooked up to the IV again I jumped out of bed and headed back to the shower.  Once in the shower my water broke, it was a small break and merely trickled this time.  I was told if I wanted to deliver in the shower I could and I would have; but all of the heat from the steam plus the pain started going to my head and I got light headed, I thought I was going to pass out and so did Husband and MW.  As I was getting out of the shower I felt the need to go to the bathroom; to push; and I asked my MW how to tell the difference between the two and her response "I don't know, they are kind of the same."  Thinking back on RR's labor I would have to agree.  I tried the toilet but that did nothing for me, and at this time I was screaming and cried for drugs.  My MW told me she didn't think I needed them.  I decided I wanted to push in bed after that and tried a few positions, but mostly ended up screaming - at which my MW said to me "That's great screaming, but how about trying some pushing."  Once I found a comfortable position (the old stand-by) I had a few practice pushes; felt my water gush out a couple of times, felt the ring of fire (dear Lord; glad I didn't have that with TT) and then in one big push and with a huge surge of water out came baby - yes all in one shot, thank you.

He was placed on my chest and I was immediately in love.  

Baby boy was born at 5:25pm; roughly three and a half hours after labor really seemed to start for me.

I have no idea what his Apgar scores were.  It didn't seem important.  What was important is that they let me hold him and hold him.  He was so tiny, and warm, and fit perfectly on my chest.  We waited a good long while for the cord to stop pulsing and Husband made a couple quick "he's here" calls and snapped up pictures.  Once the cord was cut they took him to be weighed and measured.  He was 6 lbs. 5 ounces and 18.5" long - my smallest baby.

It was at this time that we found out he had a low body temperature (95 point something degrees) and would need to go to the nursery.  Husband followed them out as I shouted, "don't give him formula I'll pump first".

And with all of that our newest member of the family fell into our hearts and lives.

More details to come in an epilogue.....

Induction & Introdcution (part 1 of 2)

Ah.... A long overdue pregnancy post.... followed by a birth story and an introduction.

Somewhere in the 36 week range of pregnancy I did as every pregnant American women does and tested for Group B Strep (GBS).  A week later I found out I was positive for GBS.  And I was crushed.  In the US being positive for GBS and delivering in the hospital requires several rounds IV delivered antibiotics.  You can decline, but you're given a hard time about it.  I opted to retest before making any decisions about what I wanted to do go forward.

You see we all carry GBS in our body; it's just a matter of whether or not it's active.  When it's active it's only active for 6 weeks at a time.  So there was a chance to retesting and not being GBS positive anymore.  Personally I find the whole GBS thing a bunch of bull as you can be negative at time of testing but positive when you deliver and they (the doctors and hospital) have no way of knowing.  There is not a "rapid strep test" for GBS.  Anyhow, I go home and treat with some home remedies from my midwife and some that I found on-line.

My retest a week later comes back still positive.  I am a mess.  I am crying.  I do NOT want an IV in while delivering.  I want a water birth, like we had hoped for with TT; free of as much medical intervention as possible.  I worry about yeast infections and thrush for me and baby, both side effects from antibiotics.  I worry about baby and the 1 in 2,000 chance of fetal death from GBS if I do not treat.  I worry about not getting to the hospital and treating the GBS before baby is born (remember TT's labor?).

My midwives offer an induction.  They tell me  based on my history of fast labors and the GBS+ status that the induction will give me the birth I want, the water birth I want.  Yes, I will need an IV, but it will not be in all the time.  Husband and I think it over, I cry some, we talk and talk more and decide the induction was the way to go.

We had an appointment with the midwife that was doing the induction and we sat down to talk more about the birth plan; and that's when I found out the birth tub was not available (new tub in a new suite waiting for the board of health to approve it).  I, again, was crushed.  The water birth was the incentive I needed to go ahead with an induction.  Personally, I am just not a fan of the idea of inductions.  Too many chances for complications, additional drugs, interventions.... and the whole "picking your child's birth date" thing really bothers me.

Based on my history, current dilation, baby position and my desire to have no medical interventions or drugs we decided to use a medication called Cedavil.  I was up front and told her absolutely no pitocin, which is what everyone thinks of when you mention an induction.  Cedavil is a thin strip of material placed next to the cervix which help ripen and dilate the cervix.  If this did not work within 12 hours we were going to call it a failed induction and I was going to go home.  Because of the chance of not having the baby that day; and because when you mention induction everyone assumes pitocin Husband and I opted not to tell anyone about the induction.  We told our mothers and one or two other people and then hoped for the best.

The induction date was set for December 5; six days before the baby's actual due date.


to be continued

Rolling

There comes a time in every women's pregnancy that rolling over in bed feels like climbing mount Everest.

There are many steps involved in rolling over in bed while pregnant:

1) Lay in bed and try and decide if you really need to roll over

2) Judge how far away Husband is from you and if you have room to roll over

3) Jar Husband in the ribs so he grunts and rolls away from you in his sleep

4) Swing the pillow from the side of your head over to other side of head

5) Lay in bed and try and decide if you REALLY need to roll over

6) Think about pillow positioned between your knees, are you awake enough to roll and keep this pillow in place

7) Remove pillow from between knees and toss to your other side

8) Pray pillow did not land on floor

9) Lay in bed and try and decide if you REALLY need to roll over

10) Place one hand under bulging pregnant belly, gather momentum and roll

11) Lay in bed and catch your breath - You made it!!!

12) Search out pillow for between knees while trying to move as little as possible

13) Position pillow at head and sink in to comfy-ness

14) Re-adjust pillow between knees

15) Breath sigh of relief and hope to fall back to sleep soon

16) Realize you have to go to the bathroom because your center of gravity has shifted onto your bladder

17) Curse Husband for snoring so softly

18) Lay in bed and think about it: do you REALLY have to go to the bathroom......


...... to be continued

Wow!! Really??!!

Actually this blog post should be titled "Holy Shit I'm Having a Baby... and like soon".  But I didn't want to have a post with the word "shit" in the title.

Do you realize it's October and there is a chance I could be having a baby next month?  I mean really, it's possible being due December 11th and all that.  It is also possible being due then than I have a Christmas baby, but only time will tell.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  How the hell did that happen?  OK, I know how IT happened, but how has time gone by so fast?  I was at the midwives offices 2 weeks ago and they were all about setting up all of the next prenatal appointments.  It was like I went from seeing them once a month to seeing them every other week in no time at all.  It was nearly overwhelming when I left with an appointment card for something like 6 visits.  I just kept staring at the appointments wondering where the last few months went.  Where did summer go?  I don't even remember it starting.

I know they say time goes faster on subsequent pregnancies because you have your hands more full than before... more responsibilities, more kids to spend time with, etc.  And I know work is certainly more busy for me now, more so than ever.  But I just don't see how this pregnancy can be coming to an end sometime soon.

Remind me I said that when I am complaining about feeling like I am going to be pregnant forever... somewhere around the 37 week mark.

So far it has been an easy pregnancy... aside from that bladder issue early on.  But since then; it's been very typical... and I dare say it maybe my easiest pregnancy yet.  Truth be told it was so long ago I was pregnant with RR that I don't recall all of the details, but I do recall it being very easy and smooth sailing.  When I was pregnant with TT I had the worst allergies/cold for 9 months...

I suppose we should start getting ready for baby to come.  We've done some stuff in preparation for the little guy.  The car seat has been taken out of the attic and cleaned (still needs to be installed), I've bought him a few new outfits (need to wash), I bought him a very cool infant hat (made by the talented Devin), we've talked names and made a list of names.... and well that's it.  We really don't have much to do I guess. We need to get some infant size diapers (our cloth ones are good starting around age 3 months) and we need to get the pack and play cleaned and set-up and we need to fix up our room and get the co-sleeper up and installed, get the clothes out of the attic and washed  Aside from that we're ready to go???

Again... remind me of this post in 4 weeks that I am freaking out over needing to buy diapers, nail clippers, new thermometer, etc... all while saying I should have washed the clothes sooner.

Husband wants to have the nursery done before new baby comes.  I'm OK with it either way.  It's not like he'll sleep in it till next summer anyhow.

How am I am so relaxed, yet so perplexed about how I could possibly be this far along in my pregnancy?  It must be the hormones.

4th Grade

4th - 2013

Earlier this evening I was not going to go on and on about RR growing up.  I was not going to wax poetic about a new school year starting.  I just wasn't going to do it.  No, I was not.  Nope. Nada.  Zilch.

The first day of 4th grade had been pretty uneventful.  He was up and showered and ready just on time.  The bus was just on time.  The baby (who are we kidding, the toddler) slept through it all.  As far as a first day of school it wasn't a big milestone.  I didn't get all misty eyed thinking about "my baby" growing up.  I only had one call from the school; unrelated to the first day thankfully, and the bus dropped him off right on time.

Overall it was a very anti-climatic first day.  There were no angles singing about the glory of back to school.  Maybe because the summer was too short this year.  Maybe because I am just so busy with work, and the toddler and being pregnant, that I couldn't make a big deal.  And it really isn't a big deal.  It's 4th grade; not kindergarten or middle school or high school.  Sure it is a new school and HE was worried about a new place and teacher and routine, but really my world wasn't affected.  How selfish is that of me?  I felt for him, and wanted him to have a good day; but I knew everything was going to be OK.  I knew there was nothing to fear.

And then I started skimming through pictures... looking at pictures from the first day of school for the last 5 years.

And then I got teary eyed.  I blame it on the pregnancy hormones.  But there is no doubt that he certainly has a certain style about him; a look that hasn't changed much over the years.  Sure his hair has gotten longer and he has learned to tie his shoes... but who he is hasn't changed, he has just gotten older.  And I suppose that means so have I.

Kindy - 2009

1st - 2010

2nd - 2011

3rd - 2012

Naming Baby

Husband and I have been searching high and low for a BOY name for newbie.  We've agreed on a girl name... but boy name... ugh so hard.

You see, we have rules for naming baby... ok, they are mostly my rules, but rules none the less.

1) No names in the top 100, preferably top 200.  Do you have any idea how many Kate, Katie, Cathy, Kathy, and Kathryn-s I graduated with?

2) No names that have a "unique spelling".  Do you know how many times I have to correct the spelling of Husband's name on forms?  I can only assume he's had this issue all his life.

3) No R names.  No T names.

4) The name must have a good solid meaning.  R's name means "wise protector".  T's name means "gift from God."

5) Name must fit well with R and T's names.  We can't have two classically named boys and then say "Moonbeam".

6) Must fit well with are already chosen middle name; Ronald.

7) Must be a name that doesn't cause Husband to play the name-association-game. Don't get me started on this one.

So you can see... naming baby BOY is not easy.

Not Friends

We're not friends anymore.

Me and food that is.

Early on in this pregnancy food and I were pretty good friends.  I would have a craving, eat it and move along my merry little way.

Then around the 6 (or was it 8 week mark - my memory is a little foggy with the baby choking out my brain) I started getting that dreaded morning sickness.

This morning sickness has lead to a general aversion of food.

Which doesn't help because that just makes the morning sickness worse - not eating.  I have no idea how women of the 40s, 50s and 60s ever survived pregnancy on the advice to "watch how much you gain".  It must have been all the smokes and cocktails.

Some days I wake up and just can't eat.  Nothing sounds edible.  But I try and make the most of it.  Until every suddenly feels and tastes like wet sand in my mouth.

And then I have a craving, and I can't eat anything until that craving is taken care of.  And it's not like the cravings stick around so I can stock up on peanut-butter or ice cream or something.  Cravings are fleeting.  They are mean.  Friends are not mean.

I try to eat, and some days are better than others... but most days are not.

Food laughs at me.  It mocks me.  It says "If you don't eat me you will feel like vomiting".  It is right.  But it always laughs and says "Go ahead and try to eat me, you won't be able to muscle down a bite."

Many days I wonder if this is what it feels like to be battling an eating disorder.

And then something smells off, and everything I ate threatens to come back up.  Or I hiccup,or sneeze... and the same thing happens.

Food is not my friend.

Sigh... I certainly hope this doesn't make for a picky baby.

You Know Your Pregnant When

You know your pregnant when...

• you feel the need to throw-up while taking your vitamins
• you wonder where your ankles went
• you feel sick to your stomach washing the dishes
• you can't go to the bathroom without assistance
• going to bed at 9pm seems really really really late - YAWN
• watching anything on Food TV or food related makes you want to vomit\
• you require a cheeseburger now... not in 5 minutes, but NOW.
• the thought of anything remotely sappy makes you want to cry
• really wish people would not post pictures of food on Facebook, because they make you feel ill

What are some of the ways you know you're expecting?  

The Bloat is Gone

TMI Warning - Lots's of talk about lady bits and the "upside" of pregnancy.

I had heard somewhere that pregnant women have a tendency to over share; to tell too many details, to really get into the nitty gritty of what is going on.  This is one such story.  But one I feel that needs to be told because when I looked on-line for more information there was very little information out there.

For the past week or so when I would wake up in the morning I was having a hard time going to the bathroom, and I don't mean like constipation.  I couldn't pee.  I would have to sit on the seat and wiggle about to go.  Then that stopped working, so I would get up and jiggle my belly and try to bounce baby around.  Then that stopped working and I would pace around and dance around until I was able to go.

Then Tuesday came and I could not go.  I tried running my fingers under warm water (old trick from junior high I am sure you all know about), I showered and tried to go in there (hey, I am the one that cleans the tub), I got dressed and decided to go get gas - maybe really moving around would get things going.  I drank some cranberry juice, thinking I was a little dehydrated (but my bladder told me otherwise).  Still nothing.  After about 2 hours of this and some major muscle spasms I decided to call my midwife.  She suggested lying in a warm bath and to try going that way.  I was told if that didn't work I would need to go in.  I laid in the bathtub for 40 minutes.  40 long minutes.  Husband and I decided we would leave to go to the midwife as soon as the bus came for RR.  But the bus was late.  Of course it was late.  I was in so much pain... so we took him with us.

We get to the midwife's office and she drained my bladder.  I am sure you can figure out how she did that... and no it was not comfortable, but it was better than the alternative.  1,200 cc of urine later and we are done!!  1,200 cc - that's a little over 5 cups and about 2.5 lbs.  Holy cow... the bloat is gone.  I get warned if I can't go again to call them sooner, don't wait so long.  I promise and we head to breakfast.

You see one of the joys of having a retroverted uterus is that in some rare cases; lucky me I get to be rare, it causes "urine retention".  Basically your uterus crushes your urethra and you simply can't go on your own.  About 1/3 of all women have a retreoverted uterus, the vast majority of those "right" themselves between the 10 and 12 week mark.  Mine on the other hand not so much.  The chance of this happening is about 1 in 8,000 pregnancies.

Anyhow, we all go to breakfast to celebrate mom going pee.  I have a couple glasses of water and a couple cups of decaf.  We get home and I race into the house having to go... and nothing.  I mean nothing.  I want to cry.  I didn't talk a "what if" plan with my midwife.  So I call her back, and she consults with the OB on staff.  I have three choices 1) get a pessary (a what I said... more to come on that) 2) get a folly catheter or 3) learn how to cath myself every-time I have to go to the bathroom (which on a good day is every 30 minutes).  So right off the bat options 2 and 3 are out in my opinion, so we wait another few hours and drive all the way back (it's 40 minutes each way... picking up RR from school - he basically went for lunch and recess that day) for the pessary.

Basically a pessary is a medical device inserted in the vagina.  Typically they are used to treat pelvic organ prolapses or to help with incontinence.  Mine was inserted to help straight out my uterus and to take pressure off my bladder.  So after trying on a few for size, talk about painful, the OB selects one and asks me to use the bathroom.  Which I do.  Then he wants to insert catheter #2 of the day, to see if I really emptied my bladder.  And it turns out I didn't.  I still had some 500 cc of urine up there.  Gah!!  Does it ever end.  Now he wants to "give my bladder a break" and install the folly cath for a couple of days.  Oh dear.  Onto catheter #3 for the day... this one I get to wear home.  Around my leg thank you very much.

I can barely walk.  I can barely sit.  It's nearly impossible to get comfortable.

I spend the next 48 hours miserable with all this crap shoved places I really don't think things should be shoved.  I cry several times.  Sometimes from the pain.  Sometimes because I feel like I hit a new low.  I am able to work from home, keeping as comfy as possible on the big chair or the bed.  Husband runs around after the boys, does all the lifting and takes care of me.  My brother in law comes over to lend a hand, he's a sweetie.  I have to eat alone in the living room because I can't sit on the kitchen chairs.  It sucks.  I mean really sucks.

Finally I go back and the midwife takes out the catheter.  I feel human again, almost... still can't sit right, still can't walk right.  Nine more days of the pessary.  How do some women live with these?  I swear mine is too big.

But hey, at least I finally got TT's haircut... the one place he behaves for a haircut is down the street from the midwive's office.  So there's a silver lining.

I love this baby... I really do.  I've asked so many times in the last few days for them to check on this baby.  But really this baby needs to stop giving mama such a hard time... his/her brothers were way easier to be pregnant with.  That being said, I have decided once this one comes it will have to be the chillest baby ever, to make up for all.... 27 more weeks till we meet them.

Coming December 2013

Coming to our house in December (or maybe November) 2013 - a new baby!!

Husband and I are expecting baby number 3 on December 11.

And to answer all of the people that have asked on Facebook - yes, I am hoping for a girl.  And so is Husband and RR even said he was praying for a sister.  Church this morning, which featured a First Communion (on Mother's Day none the less) confirmed my desire for a little girl.  Seeing all of those sweeties in their little white dresses and veils, oh so cute. But as long as baby is healthy I will be happy.  I have a feeling it is going to be a boy; and then I can have "my three sons" as someone else pointed out.

Husband and I have known we were expecting for a long while, ever since we came home from our trip to Vermont; but we had wanted to keep it a secret until we knew a due date - breastfeeding can make for irregular cycles - very irregular in my case.  The ultrasound showed we were further along than we thought and after a few days we shared the news with our moms.  My mom was super excited and so eager to share the news we told her to go ahead (despite typically waiting till after the first trimester to tell)... and then after that we let the world know.

I still need to tell work about the new baby, and plan to this week; as this time around there is no holding back the belly.

Aside from my belly coming in sooner than before this time I am experiencing something I never have before - morning sickness.  Ugh, it is terrible and I feel for those who suffer from it.  There are few things worse than pumping gas and dry heaving at the same time.

Oh and the food cravings... nothing tastes right until I have had what I am craving.  And then once the craving is gone that is it.  So far I have NEEDED - cheddar cheese sticks, Go Berry Frozen Yogurt with strawberries, Panera - specifically black bean soup and Greek salad, tortillas and GOOD salsa, California rolls and strawberry ice cream/topping sundaes.

No need to wonder why I am getting so big so fast this time, right?

Here's to a happy and healthy and easy next 7+ months!!