Heartbeat

Back on May 23rd I went to a midwife (MW) appointment for #3 (I was 11 weeks along at that time).  The appointment started out great, I had lost a little weight (but nothing concerning), blood pressure was good, urine was good, and we chatted for a bit.  Then she said those magic words "let's see if we can find that baby's heartbeat".

I should have stopped her right there.  I should have know, based on my previous pregnancies; that we would not find the heartbeat.  But I was so caught up in the moment I didn't speak up.

She got out the doppler and looked and looked and looked some more; probably for a good 10 minutes and the heartbeat could not be detected.  You see I have what they call a retro-verted uterus, which means if points to my tailbone instead of forward or vertical.  It's actually fairly common, and this type of uterus typically rights itself during 10 to 12 weeks of pregnancy, mine have a history of not doing so until 14 to 16 weeks.  I went through this with RR and was sent for an emergency ultrasound.  With TT we didn't look for it until later around 13 weeks.

My MW told me we shouldn't be too concerned, as we had a nice strong heartbeat at 9 weeks via trans-vaginal ultrasound.  She told me we could schedule an ultrasound or I could just come back sooner than a month.  I opted for the ultrasound, since I had to have one done anyways for the triple screen testing.  And so the ultrasound was booked.

It was a full week and 2 days away.

9 days to sit around and wonder if #3 was OK.

I was mad at myself for letting her try to find the heartbeat.  I should have known it was too soon.

I was scared something was wrong.

But at other moments I knew everything was fine.

It was a very long 9 days.  I told very few people in real life what was going on.  Two people to be exact; Husband (obviously) and a co-worker (who could tell I was not doing well after that MW appointment).

I asked my mom to come along for the ultrasound, and I prayed it would only be good news.  This was going to be the first ultrasound for her grand-kids she had been to.... and this is grand-baby #6 for her.


The night before I hardly slept and spent time from 4 am till 5 am surfing the internet and watching Extreme Couponing on Nextflix (my current guilty TV pleasure).

The morning of the ultrasound, RR asked to come with us; too see the new baby (or get out of taking his spelling test, you decide).  And I prayed for a good outcome.

I was scared when the lights dimmed and baby wasn't moving.  But then the tech confirmed the heartbeat (at 164) and perfect growth; right on track at 12 weeks and 2 days.  And I was so relieved and happy.

Turns out baby is just very chill and relaxed...