The Bloat is Gone

TMI Warning - Lots's of talk about lady bits and the "upside" of pregnancy.

I had heard somewhere that pregnant women have a tendency to over share; to tell too many details, to really get into the nitty gritty of what is going on.  This is one such story.  But one I feel that needs to be told because when I looked on-line for more information there was very little information out there.

For the past week or so when I would wake up in the morning I was having a hard time going to the bathroom, and I don't mean like constipation.  I couldn't pee.  I would have to sit on the seat and wiggle about to go.  Then that stopped working, so I would get up and jiggle my belly and try to bounce baby around.  Then that stopped working and I would pace around and dance around until I was able to go.

Then Tuesday came and I could not go.  I tried running my fingers under warm water (old trick from junior high I am sure you all know about), I showered and tried to go in there (hey, I am the one that cleans the tub), I got dressed and decided to go get gas - maybe really moving around would get things going.  I drank some cranberry juice, thinking I was a little dehydrated (but my bladder told me otherwise).  Still nothing.  After about 2 hours of this and some major muscle spasms I decided to call my midwife.  She suggested lying in a warm bath and to try going that way.  I was told if that didn't work I would need to go in.  I laid in the bathtub for 40 minutes.  40 long minutes.  Husband and I decided we would leave to go to the midwife as soon as the bus came for RR.  But the bus was late.  Of course it was late.  I was in so much pain... so we took him with us.

We get to the midwife's office and she drained my bladder.  I am sure you can figure out how she did that... and no it was not comfortable, but it was better than the alternative.  1,200 cc of urine later and we are done!!  1,200 cc - that's a little over 5 cups and about 2.5 lbs.  Holy cow... the bloat is gone.  I get warned if I can't go again to call them sooner, don't wait so long.  I promise and we head to breakfast.

You see one of the joys of having a retroverted uterus is that in some rare cases; lucky me I get to be rare, it causes "urine retention".  Basically your uterus crushes your urethra and you simply can't go on your own.  About 1/3 of all women have a retreoverted uterus, the vast majority of those "right" themselves between the 10 and 12 week mark.  Mine on the other hand not so much.  The chance of this happening is about 1 in 8,000 pregnancies.

Anyhow, we all go to breakfast to celebrate mom going pee.  I have a couple glasses of water and a couple cups of decaf.  We get home and I race into the house having to go... and nothing.  I mean nothing.  I want to cry.  I didn't talk a "what if" plan with my midwife.  So I call her back, and she consults with the OB on staff.  I have three choices 1) get a pessary (a what I said... more to come on that) 2) get a folly catheter or 3) learn how to cath myself every-time I have to go to the bathroom (which on a good day is every 30 minutes).  So right off the bat options 2 and 3 are out in my opinion, so we wait another few hours and drive all the way back (it's 40 minutes each way... picking up RR from school - he basically went for lunch and recess that day) for the pessary.

Basically a pessary is a medical device inserted in the vagina.  Typically they are used to treat pelvic organ prolapses or to help with incontinence.  Mine was inserted to help straight out my uterus and to take pressure off my bladder.  So after trying on a few for size, talk about painful, the OB selects one and asks me to use the bathroom.  Which I do.  Then he wants to insert catheter #2 of the day, to see if I really emptied my bladder.  And it turns out I didn't.  I still had some 500 cc of urine up there.  Gah!!  Does it ever end.  Now he wants to "give my bladder a break" and install the folly cath for a couple of days.  Oh dear.  Onto catheter #3 for the day... this one I get to wear home.  Around my leg thank you very much.

I can barely walk.  I can barely sit.  It's nearly impossible to get comfortable.

I spend the next 48 hours miserable with all this crap shoved places I really don't think things should be shoved.  I cry several times.  Sometimes from the pain.  Sometimes because I feel like I hit a new low.  I am able to work from home, keeping as comfy as possible on the big chair or the bed.  Husband runs around after the boys, does all the lifting and takes care of me.  My brother in law comes over to lend a hand, he's a sweetie.  I have to eat alone in the living room because I can't sit on the kitchen chairs.  It sucks.  I mean really sucks.

Finally I go back and the midwife takes out the catheter.  I feel human again, almost... still can't sit right, still can't walk right.  Nine more days of the pessary.  How do some women live with these?  I swear mine is too big.

But hey, at least I finally got TT's haircut... the one place he behaves for a haircut is down the street from the midwive's office.  So there's a silver lining.

I love this baby... I really do.  I've asked so many times in the last few days for them to check on this baby.  But really this baby needs to stop giving mama such a hard time... his/her brothers were way easier to be pregnant with.  That being said, I have decided once this one comes it will have to be the chillest baby ever, to make up for all.... 27 more weeks till we meet them.