Not a Blob

Yesterday, after a particularly long 12 hours in the office, I came home and was holding ERP.  And suddenly he looked so big.  So less like a newborn, and more like a baby; and at that - more like a baby who was well on his way to becoming a toddler.

His face seems to be changing.  He has gotten a lot bigger in the last week - can you say "growth spurt".  yawn!  And he is sitting now.  I mean, really sitting.  He was sitting weeks ago, but he still slumped forward some, now he sits and plays with his back nice and straight.

And he's all about standing.  He loves standing at the couch and at the little play table.  Then he raises his arms high in the arm, and I take a deep breath, and down they go back to the couch.

This first year is going by so fast with my little guy.  Thankfully he's still a pocket baby, and loves being held close, carried and snuggled.

And speaking of a year - yesterday I found a picture from ERP's 20 week ultrasound.  The day we found out he was a boy.  And that picture was dated 7/17/13 - I found it exactly 1 year after it was taken.

7/17/13 was a sad day for me.  The days following it were dark for me.  I was upset.  I had truly wanted ERP to be a girl.  I had my heart set on a girl.  My pregnancy was so different with him than his brothers, everyone swore he was going to be a girl.  And when he wasn't I was sad, scratch that; I got depressed.  I cried for a couple of days.  I lashed out at my family.  I was crushed.  Gender disappointment is a real thing.  It can hurt.

But you know what?  I wouldn't trade ERP for a girl, never. He is exactly the baby meant for me.  He's my mama's boy.  He's my baby with blue eyes (finally!!).  He's boy #3.  And I like being a mom of boys.  I love it.  Boys are great - messy, loud and smelly.  But they are great.

So in a year.... ERP went from being a blob of a boy on an ultrasound, to a little baby blob that I held in my arms... to a strong, and sweet, and lovable little man sitting around happily playing with his toys.

One year.... it can make all the difference in the world.

Books

TT is all about books these days.  He loves to have stories read to him; and sometimes he'll even let Gene listen in on the fun.

So what are the 3 year old's favorite books these days:

#1 Favorite by far is Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.  The original.

After that it's a toss up amongst a number of Dr. Suess books - Oh the Places You'll Go, And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street, and The Foot Book.

Sometimes he will request I read the book we call "colors" over and over again.  I have no idea what is it really named, but it counts 1 through 10 and has a different color for each number.  I find this book terribly dull, but not as dull as the Brainy Baby ABC book he often insists on reading.

Then some days he is really into looking at baby faces and we'll read very simple, 6 page books which feature lots of baby faces - like Peek a Boo Baby, Good Morning Baby, What Does Baby Need, and Baby Plays.  He often insists that many of the newborns we see photos of in these books are ERP.

I'm glad my boys love their books - I just wish I got to chose what we read more often.

Breastmilk Yogurt

A couple months back  had gotten it into my head that I was going to make breastmilk yogurt for ERP.  I saw it as the perfect "first food"; and a way to let him start playing with foods before he met the milestones for eating "solids".

Now ERP has no issues with eating - he will gladly eat and swallow things he shouldn't - paper being one of the big ones.  But sitting on his own - he's getting there, and he won't be 6 months for another couple of weeks.

So - breastmilk yogurt - the perfect introduction to food.

I was able to find many articles online about breastmilk yogurt and this convinced me I was not crazy.  One article in particular on The Hippie Inside struck me, and made me realize how easy it would be.  I had some milk in the fridge that was on the hairy edge of needing to be frozen or tossed so I decided no time like the present and on Thursday night (our wedding anniversary none the less) I embarked on Project Breastmilk Yogurt.

It started out really easy.  Breastmilk in a saucepan with a candy thermometer.  Heat to 185F and cool to 112F.  Transfer to a WARMED GLASS pan with a lid.  Add thickening agent (I used gelatin - flavorless, sugarless and fake surgarless) and yogurt starter (I used a dollop of cows milk yogurt), put the lid on and put the pan into a cooler.  Fill the cooler with WARM water and cover with a WARMED towel.  After 4.5 hours, drain the water and refill and let set over night.  This was my first road block, when I refilled the water I accidently got some into the yogurt pan.  The next day you put it in the fridge.  This was road block #2, when I got up the yogurt was very watery.  So I added more gelatin.  When I got home the yogurt was more like breastmilk jello.

So three lessons - next time I make it - make in mason jars or recycled glass jars.  Something with a locking lid.  And instead of gelatin for the thicken I will use tapioca starch.  And if using gelatin as a thickener you need to wait till it's been refrigerated for it to set.

But no worry.  I was able to easily scope it out and mash it with a fork and some fresh breastmilk and ta-da - sorta-kinda breastmilk yogurt.

Either way he loved it, and insisted on feeding himself.

Lunch Update

A couple of months ago I was beyond annoyed with the lunch menu selection at RR's school.  They were offering pizza two or three times a week.  So I blogged about it.

I am happy to report that since then the lunch menu has changed.  Pizza is now only offered once a week!!

Now I am not saying I was a driving force in the change.  Or if I was even an influence in the change.

But it has changed and that's all that matters.

Not Created Equal

This blog post is a service announcement to anyone who has children of toiler training age, younger children, babies or those thinking about having children - Not All Potty Chairs Are Created Equal.

Potty chairs come in two varieties - fun and fancy or plain and boring.

You do not want the fun and fancy variety.  Have no fear your little angel will not fall asleep from boredom while on the plain potty chair - stick her in the front of the TV or leave a basket of toys next to the potty chair.  No need for the potty chair to be entertaining.

They make potty chairs shaped like cars, complete with wheels.  Do you have any idea what TT would have done with this?  You don't want to know.

They make standing urinal potty chairs for little boys.  I can barely get the older one to get it in the toilet, do I really need this problem times two?

They make potty chairs that claim to be everything in one.  A potty chair, a step stool, a seat for the toilet.  Some have holders for wipes or toilet paper.  Some have handles to hold on to while you go (??), some have handles to flush with, others have holders for your iPad (????) This sounds great, right?

I swear our lid never actually sparkled, even new out of the box.

Not so much.  Let me put it to you this way; the more cracks and cervices the potty chair has, the more places for urine and feces to hide.  Because no matter how hard they try getting it all into the potty the first time or the second or the third doesn't always happen.

When shopping for a potty chair, look for slim lines.  No cracks, no hidden floor spaces.  Just a seat and a removable cup.  That's all you need.  You can go and spend $25-$30 on it and get the fancy-brand or spend a little less than $10 and get the same thing without the name brand.

Consider yourself warned... and you can thank me later.

4 Months

My little name ERP turned 4 months old yesterday.  This has certainly been a month of milestones for him.  I don't know if it's because I am with him more than I was his brothers at this age or what; but I swear I am noticing every little thing that he does.  I can tell from one day to the next that he is starting to use his hands together versus independently, I notice when he's going through developmental leaps without looking at the calendar or an app on my phone.  When I look in his eyes, I sometimes feel like I can see him thinking and wondering.  Those big big eyes.  Those eyes that look more and more light blue with every passing day.  I so hop your eyes stay blue baby.  Mama would love a blue eyed boy.

Over this month his fair has also gotten increasingly lighter; although it is still very much chameleon hair - some days it looks dark brown, others a dirty blond and still others a touch of red.

This month ERP started rolling over, from back to front.  He does it fairly regularly these days.  I've tried to get it on video a number of times, but he doesn't like to perform.  ERP has also developed a whole new host of sounds, including a screech.  That too I have tried to get on video, and he clams up the minute he sees the light on my phone.  He is a wiggle worm when on the floor, he rolls here and there, scooches and manages to get himself wedged under chairs and couches.  As I write this, he has rolled from front to back and is trying to get his knees under him.  He was such a mover and shaker in utero, I guess nothing has changed.

ERP is just now getting into his size 3 months clothes.  The fancy European sized clothing that we have some of is a size 2-4 months.  He is my pocket baby still.

He had a terrible ear infection this past month and had snot coming out of his ear - otherwise he was totally his normal happy self.  At that appointment he was 12 lbs. 4 ounces.  I am guessing when he finally has his 4 month well visit (on the 14th) he'll be 13 lbs.

This month has also seen ERP starting to fall into a more predictable pattern.  He is up most days around 6:30am and is ready for his first nap at 8am.  He is typically up from that nap around 10:30 ish and is ready to go back down again around noon.  He'll wake from his second nap around 3or so and will look for another nap around 5pm.  If we hold off on that last nap, he thinks it's a good idea to go to bed at 6pm.  Otherwise ,I tuck him in around 8:30pm.  We started reading books before bed and he LOVES them.

Things from this month I don't want to forget:
~ Watching him learn how to take his pacifier out of his mouth and put it back in
~ How easily he smiles at everyone
~ The first time he rolled over
~ The smell of his hair
~ The way he gets so excited right before we nurse
~ How much he misses me when I go into the office and how happy he is to see me when I come home
~ The funny noises he's making
~ Watching him play with his musical giraffe
~ The fact that his stuffed cow is his favorite toy
~ Him giving hugs to his brothers
~ The way he yells at the TV when Baby Mozart comes on
~ Him sitting in his bumbo for the first time
~ Him sitting in his high chair for the first time
~ How much he disliked his first breastmilk popsicle - too cold

Here's a video of ERP playing with his toys - I was trying to get him rolling over.  He stopped rolling once the camera came out and then finished once I got out of his face.

4th Level of Hell

Something happened to my dear, sweet, easy going, laid back ERP the other night.

I can't quite put my finger on it.  But something changed.

We headed up to bed a little before 9pm, as we often do.  I turned my back to adjust something in his co-sleeper and he let out this cry.  It was a cry unlike any other cry, he has ever done before.  It was high pitched, it was loud.  It was clearly not the cry of a newborn.

I soothed him.  Nursed him.  And put him to bed like always.  I had work to finish up and planned on being up for several more hours.  But wasn't overly concerned.  ERP had taken to sleeping from 9-10 ish until 4ish.  It was heaven.

But it wasn't meant to be that night.

Before midnight he had woken up screaming and crying three times.

The screaming and crying only continued once Husband and I went to bed around midnight.  We tried everything - and we have a lot of tricks.  Nothing seemed to be working.

ERP was not happy.  He wanted to be held, nurse and cry - in no particular order.

The following morning saw Husband taking care of the bigger boys while ERP and I laid in bed, cuddling, nursing and crying.

We were in rough shape.  It clearly felt like we had entered the 4th level of hell; especially around the 6am mark when TT decided to get up way to early.  (And so did RR - what's up with that.)

The crying, whining, fussing, being upset at the breast continued on and off all day.  I looked to clues as to what was happening to my good-matured little boy.  Wonder Week?  No, too soon.  Growth spurt?  It didn't feel like one, but maybe.  Gas pains?  Maybe, but the gas drops didn't seem to be helping.  Husband suggested colic and I gave him the look of death (hey we were in Hell).  RR had colic, this was not colic.

The next night was bad.  Not as bad as the night before, but bad.  It harkened back to his infant days.

Did I mention during all this I have strep throat?  Which had made sleep the couple of nights before not possible for me.  So I missed out on sleep the last couple of days before ERP lost his way?

We seemed to have turned the corner on whatever is/was ailing ERP.  Although he does have a snotty nose now.  (le sigh... TT has been sick as well)  Today he actually smiled again.  It's a miracle!!  And he did engage in some playing.  I can hear the angles starting to sing.  I have hope... hope that we will leave this terrible place.

Old Man Names

Someone once said to me, maybe it was my mother; "you can't name him that, it's an old man name."

Well, you know what, someone has to give their kids old man names; otherwise there would be no righteous old men with these classic names.

I had to take ERP to urgent care once and the doctor there came in proclaiming usually when he meets people with ERPs name they are over the age of 80.

Raymond Thomas
Theodore Wayne
Eugene Ronald Paul

All of my boys are named, in some way; after a beloved relative that has gone before them or a special relative we would like to honor.

All of my boys have names that are uniquely theirs.

They are all names of lesser known Catholic saints.  Did you know there were also four Popes named Eugene?

When I picked their names, none of their names were in the top 200 most popular.  This was done on purpose.  Yet, they are names we are all familiar with.  And they fit together, you can tell they were meant to be brothers.

All of these names have some sort of TV or cartoon character associated with them.  Some more endearing than others.

These are good strong names -
Raymond means Wise protector.  The perfect name for the oldest brother.
Theodore means Gift from God.  And that he is.
Eugene is Wellborn or Noble.  We think of his name as a tribute to his birth.

My boys, may they love each other as old men, just as they love each other today.

This is what....

This is what tandem nursing looks like.

You see that calm and relaxed look on my face - that's all the oxytocin being released while nursing.  Nothing relaxes me faster or mellows me out more than a tandem nursing session.  Especially after we have been out doing errands and running around like fools.  

Uphill, Barefoot, in the Snow

During dinner tonight my cell phone chirped with a text message, and then again.  I had just assumed it was one of the Big Boy's games telling me some sort of animal needs to be attended to or a new land was created.  But Husband felt the need to check it; and low and behold, it was a text message from the school system that school was cancelled tomorrow during to the impending snow storm.

Five minutes later the phone rings, and it's the telephone tree from the school system telling me school is cancelled for tomorrow.

And I bet you good money I have an email waiting from the school as well, telling me - you guessed it.

But I digress; the text message and telephone call turned the dinner conversation into a "back in my day".

Sure back in our parent's day they had to walk to school uphill (both ways) while barefoot in the snow - our tale of "back in the day" woh was a little more mentally challenging.

We told the boys about how we used to have to sit in front of the TV watching the news, hours before school began hoping and praying that we would see our schools name scroll by on the bottom of the screen announcing that we too had the day off.  Or worse yet, we had to listen to the radio and wait for breaks between songs to hear the list of school closings.  Then we had to convince our parents that we heard or saw our school name.  Sometimes said parents didn't believe us, or wanted to check for themselves - and this required standing at a snowy bus stop (back before buses picked you up at your house) waiting and wondering if the bus was ever going to show and how long until we could go in the house.  We had to explain to the Big Boy about how Netflix wasn't around and people all watched the same thing at the same time, about how the internet wasn't around and we couldn't look up school closing.

Ah yes.... back in the day....

The Power Of....

The stage is set -

It is 5:30pm.  The Big Boys are running around the house like idiots (and I use that term lovingly).  The living-room is a disaster, couch pillows are thrown about, the Thomas Train chair is tipped over in the middle of the floor, all of the books are off the bottom of the bookshelf.  Husband is in the kitchen going over the repairs he did to his uncle's computer with him and finding out what repairs need to be done to his cousin's computer from him cousin.  Dinner, chili; is thankfully done and simmering on the stove.

ERP and I are sitting on the couch.  I am trying to comfort nurse him; he is suckling some and then popping off and crying.  I send the Biggest Boy for a swaddler.  I plan on trying to sway and sush ERP in hopes of calming him.

ERP has been having terrible gas pains for the last hour.  Husband had gotten him calmed some and ERP took a cat nap, but that is over and he is pissed.  I've given him gas drops and let him nurse all he wants.  Gas pains suck.  Baby hates them, parents hate them more.

ERP is wailing.  Screaming.  He is not happy.

Enter stage left; my mom and her boyfriend.  Right on time for our dinner date, they come baring cornbread and double chocolate cake.

I suggest to my mom that she go across the street (yes, I live in the middle of nowhere with a liquor store across the street, convenient at times - yes.) and get some beer.  Beer goes excellent with chili and a crying baby (drink while nursing or right after nursing, never nurse if you are feeling the affects of the drink).  My mom offers to take ERP so I can go get the beer.

I step outside, the night air is warm for January.  It feels like rain, but it isn't raining.  It is quiet outside.  A few minutes later I am armed with Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat Ale and back in my house.

But now my house is different.  Husband is done taking care of the computer business, the Big Boys are quieter.  But more importantly, ERP is done crying.  My mom is rocking him and he is asleep.

I pass around beers - sorry, none for the boys; and set the table.  My mom transfers ERP to his vibrating seat, and he continues to sleep.  He sleeps through all of dinner.  And dessert.  And us sitting and talking afterwards, relaxing.

It feels like a miracle.  I know Husband or I could have gotten ERP to settle down; we have mad baby calming skills; but sometimes you just need the power of grandma.

2 & 3 Weeks

In weeks 2 and 3 of ERP's life -

~ he has already gained back his birth weight; plus a pound.  At 2 weeks and 3 days he had a doctor's appointment and was 7 lbs. 5 ounces
~ he is still wearing size newborn clothes, but we can put his 0-3 month clothes on him without him looking too much like a child playing dress-up
~ he is wearing newborn size diapers, but once these are gone he'll be wearing size 1.  This is one step closer to wearing his cloth diapers.
~ he loves taking showers with mommy
~ he is more and more awake every day
~ he is still a pocket baby, and loves to be held and snuggled
~ he celebrated his first holiday - Christmas
~ he is still eating and sleeping - 99% of the time
~ he is (sadly) coming down with his brother's cold.... poor guy

Things that I don't want to forget from the last 2 weeks -

~ how the stork bite on the back of his neck got smaller and smaller and just faded away
~ how his toes spread out, almost like fingers; when you run your finger under them
~ how soft the hair on his head feels
~ how he sounds like a dove cooing when he sleeps (sometimes)
~ how soft and warm he feels curled up against my body
~ how he looks me in the eyes while nursing now

Pass the Peas Please

I'm a big believer on offering kids things to eat that they don't normally eat, especially at dinner time.  If we are eating foods I know the boys will turn down they are still offered.  I heard something somewhere at sometime that said you have to try a new food some twenty times before you decide you like it... and I have stuck to that approach.

Time and time again I would serve TT peas.

Time and time again he would not eat peas.

If I served him peas and carrots mixed together, he would eat the carrots while removing the peas and crushing them into the table top.

Sometimes he would freak out and refuse to eat if the peas where on his plate.

Tonight I decided not to offer him peas.  He had plenty of other colorful food on his plate.

As dinner went on and RR was eating his peas TT asked for peas.  He scoped some out of the serving bowl and put them on his plate.  And sure enough he started eating them.

Then all of a sudden he couldn't get enough peas.  He was going insane eating them.  We let him eat them right out of the serving dish because he was just going to town eating peas.  He was totally in love with peas and both Husband and I watched in awe (and then took pictures).

Maybe it was reverse psychology - OK, I'll eat them since you didn't offer them to me.

Maybe it was because he was eating them heated up (I don't normally warm his veggies).

Maybe it was because his brother was eating them, and he thinks his brother is the cat's pajamas.

No matter what is was I'll take it... eating peas at dinner with no fighting... priceless.

Unexpected Adventure

This morning we headed out for our bi-weekly trip to the library.  On the way out Husband asked me if I was going to see if the library had the Eric Carle Museum (ECM) pass on hand.

Side note; in case you didn't know, many libraries lend out passes to local museums and parks just as they lend out books.  Some are free admissions (like the ECM was) others offer reduced admission, free parking, etc.  These are a great free resource for any family.

Ok, back to the story.  At first I told Husband I wasn't going to ask.  We had to get RR packed for camp today and tomorrow we had to drop him off at camp; I felt there was no way we could sneak in an extra trip.

We spent a good deal of time at the library and the boys were bother behaving so well and getting along.  It must have been the euphoria of the whole experience because at check-out I asked about the ECM passes and they were in.  I was shocked!!!  They haven't been in the last two times I have asked.

I asked Husband if he thought we should go home and go to the museum later in the afternoon, but as he explained we were almost halfway there already we might as go.  So we did.  No diapers, no bids, no wipes, no sippy cups.... really no nothing.

At least I had my phone to get some photos.  They don't alone pictures in the gallery so all photos are from the hallways, library area; and drawing room.

They had a Mo Willems exhibit when we went.

Note to Santa, please get TT a doll house or toy barn.

After the museum we took the boys over to get some ice cream at a local farm, bakery, etc kind of place.  And as our luck of the day would have it they were having some sort of children's festival - complete with games, cookie decorating and a magician.  Both boys won prizes and won free apples.

What a morning.  We were home a little after 1pm with two very happy and tired little boys.

Sad Clown

You see that face?

That's the face of a 2 year old that refused to nap (he normally naps for 3 hours); and then played hard, hung out in the basement during a tornado watch, played on the porch in the rain and then proceeded to finger paint... and then... and then.... realizes he really should have napped.

Quick bath, full of kicking and screaming, wrestling to get dried and ready for bed, and then he fell asleep while nursing.

Such a tired little guy.

This Morning

This morning TT woke up very determined.  I lifted him out of his crib and we went and sat on the rocking chair to nurse, just as we have done for years now.  As soon as we sat down he started asking for his "truck", so I put him down, turned on the light and told him to go get it.

He immediatly went over to the door and started pulling on the safety cover yelling "stuck" (which in TT speak sounds a lot like truck).  Clearly the truck he wanted wasn't in his bedroom.  I tried to distract him and coax him back over to nurse by opening the blinds and showing him the trees.  The trees have been his new thing lately, he needs to look at the trees outside while we nurse.  But that was a no go.

So I opened his bedroom door and told him "Ok, go get your truck."  He stopped and looked at me.  He gave me the "are you crazy" stare and demanded, "sack".  Ah yes, his sleep-sack.  He will not leave his bedroom wearing it.  So I took off the sleep sack and he stood at the top of the stairs staring at me like "well, aren't you going to carry me down, I certainly can't float down".  So down we went.  He raced around the house looking for it, calling out for it it tears "truck, truck".  But it was no where to be found.

I guessed, incorrectly, that it was left in my car yesterday... so I donned a pair of black dress shows along with my green and white polka dotted jamma-pants and pink t-shirt and went out looking for the car... praying no one saw me.  TT followed me to the porch, tears streaming down his face.  No truck.

It was time for the big guns and I woke up Husband.  "Did you look outside?" he asked... of course I did grumbling as I went back downstairs to a crying toddler.... then it hit me, oh that outside.  Outside on the porch where TT had been playing yesterday afternoon.  And sure enough that is where it was.  The truck was found an in the boys hands just as Husband made his way downstairs.  All the while the Big Boy is upstairs yelling "Why is TT down stairs already?"  What a morning.... and then we nursed, on the chair in the living room while he drove the truck up and down my chest.

Thankful

It's been a rough few weeks here in our house; Husband appears to be falling apart.  Last week he pulled a muscle out in his back.  Just as he seemed to be starting to make a rebound from that he developed a problem tooth.  The tooth was sore, and then his face started to swell, and then his tongue swelled, and he was getting strange pockets of puss in his mouth.  He made an appointment with his dentist.

Thursday evening I dropped him off at the dentist and took the boys to the library.  We had been at the library for about 10 minutes when Husband called.  First he was being told he had to go see an oral surgeon right away; but then when no oral surgeon was found to still be on-call he was told he had to go to the ER.  The dentist told him if I wasn't going to drive him; Husband being the dad he is was worried about keeping the boys out too late, especially on a school night, then he was going in an ambulance.  Apparently this was more serious than we thought it was.  I drove him to the ER and we agreed I would take the boys to dinner (since it was now going on 5) and then for a walk and we'd decide from there what to do next with them.

Dinner was oh so good, and the boys really showed down; but I was too worried about Husband to eat.  The walk was good, the sky was a bright hopeful blue and the air was just a little crisp; and again the boys were both being angles.

After the walk I decided to let the boys watch some cartoons in the car before heading into the hospital; as it was just going on 7pm now, and for some reason I felt like it was too soon to see how things where.

Around 7:30 we went in and I asked for Husband at the front desk.  The receptionist was very serious and somber and I suddenly feared the worst.  She told me he was out getting a CAT scan and told me where his bed was located and that we could wait for him there.  I think we only waited about 5 or 10 minutes for him to get back from his scan, but the time really seemed to drag on.  When he came back he was in good spirits; which made me smile, and he was hooked up to an IV with fluids, antibiotics and morphine (which I suppose made him smile - no really it was seeing his boys that made him smile).  We were told there was a chance he was going to be admitted to the hospital.  Apparently the infection in his face was just that bad - and too think I thought the dentist was over exaggerating when he said he had never seem something like this before.  We visited with Husband some more, but once TT wanted to start running wild in the ER I knew it was time to go outside.  I opted not to bring the boys home since he hospital seemed to be close to making a decision about Husband staying or not.  We kissed him and went outside to watch more videos in the car; it was now getting very dark out.

As time went on, TT grew tired of being in a non-moving car; as one would expect from a 2 year old; a little after after 8:30 we went to go see what was going on.  Just as we got to the front of the ER out came Husband.  He certainly received a hero's welcome, especially from RR.

On the way home we got his prescriptions filled and treated everyone to a milkshake.  So thankful to have him home with us; and on the mend.

Since then his dentist and primary care doctors have both called several times to follow up with him.  They both tell him what a lucky man he is to be alive.  Apparently the infection and swelling was so bad he was at risk of it closing off his airways.  We are also lucky it didn't develop to strong of a foothold in his blood stream or worse.  So for now he is fighting the infection on a very strong dose of antibiotics and painkillers, and then once the 10 days is up  it's back to the dentist to see where we go from here.

I am thankful he is home with me, on the mend; even if that means snoring in my ear.

What to do?

I came downstairs from tucking in TT and started to look around and wondered "what do I want to do tonight?".  Without a further thought I started washing diapers and doing the dishes.  While I was SOSing the chili stuck to the bottom of the pot I got to thinking "This is NOT what I want to do tonight.  I want to do something that makes me happy."

I could.....

• work on putting together picture frames
• yoga!!  I've been meaning to do that for a few weeks
• watch "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant", because I've been meaning to watch that show for months
• do some school work, I didn't get to it this weekend and one of the downfalls of a self directed course is not pushing yourself sometimes
• research Easter ideas on Pintrest, it's been weeks since I've been on Pintrest
• look for ties for the boys for Easter
• mount and hang up some art work the boys have done for me
• start reading a new book
• print pictures of TT and actually start his scrapbook
• work on RR's scrapbook I have all of those pictures of him already...
• and breath.....

Then my thoughts started to change.  I should...

• put away RR's clothes
• fold TT's clothes
• put away my laudry
• clean out the pantry, why do I always look to clean when I want to relax?
• dust the light fixtures in the kitchen, see above note
• put away the Christmas coffee mugs, um yeah..... I think I have a problem

I really need to start doing things on my make me happy list.  The cobwebs can wait another day; I tell myself that when the boys want to do something.  I try and find a balance.  Must balance myself more... can you hear my chanting?... must balance myself more....

Chocolate & Green Eyed Monsters

Way back in January, on the 31st; we went out for our annual RR birthday dinner with his Ney-Ney (grandma) and his Nana (his great grandma).  As is tradition dinner was at a place of his choosing.  Last year we spent a small fortune at Outback, so call me tickled pink (in the wallet at least) when he chose to go to Golden Corral.  Personally I am not a huge fan of buffet restaurants, but when I heard kids under 12 were on special for $2.99 and under 4 was free I was pretty pleased with his choice.

And if you are wondering why he picked this place; that he has never been to, it is because of the chocolate fountain they advertised.

For a Thursday evening the place was packed.  Apparently every other parent had also heard about their kids being able to eat all they can for less than $3.  Aside from that it was a wonderful evening.  90-something year old Nana was walking with just a cane and managed to eat more than everyone else combined, expect RR.  Since it was his birthday I let him go to town, and did he eat; and did he ever enjoy that chocolate fountain.  I will admit, it was pretty darn good.  It didn't have the cheap chocolate taste I was expecting.

Oh yes, and they had cotton candy too.  Trust me, he ate real food including fruits and veggies before all of the junk food.  And yes, he did have a stomach ache from all of the sweets - some lessons you need to learn the hard way in my opinion.  

After we ate the presents came out.  And the strangest thing happened to TT's eyes.  They went from a wonderful shade of hazel to green.  That's right TT turned into the Green-Eyed Monster.  Apparently he learned what presents were over Christmas time; and he did not like his brother getting gifts and him not getting anything.  

Oh the tears.  He cried and cried and cried.  Then he tried to take off with RR's new scooter.  I have never seen a child of mine get so jealous.  I guess that's what happens when you have an only child for 7 years.  

And one last thought.... see that picture above?  Every year I take a picture of him with his grandmas.  I think next year I need to actually be in the shot.  To remind him of ALL the leading ladies in his life, before he discovers girls.  

That Age

As of tomorrow I will have a pre-teen.  The Big Boy turns 9.  As my mother just reminded me on the phone, the last year before double digits.

I will admit having a 9 year old makes me feel old(er); but I think it's also pretty darn neat.  It is such an age of transition and of change and growing (and regressing.... he's into watching Disney Jr. shows again.).  But I have found with this age comes a new challenge.

The challenge of buying him gifts.

Really; what do you get a pre-teen (or teen for that matter) boy these days?

Sure there is the obvious: video games and Legos.

Sure he wants video games and Legos.

But really he doesn't need anymore video games.  And Legos, well lets just say he has enough Legos.  Enough for 5 or 6 or 20 kids his age.  Yes, he would play the video games.  And yes, he would build (then destroy) the 1,000 piece Lego set.  But when you already have a mild video game addiction (which your mother is fighting hard to overcome) and about fifty-million-billion-trillion Legos you don't need anymore.

So what to get?

I settled on a Razor Scooter.  The "graffiti" one.  Husband says he'll break his neck.  He's probably right; given RR's (total lack of) coordination.  But as I pointed out to Husband, better to break his neck on a scooter than on a bike.  And hey, it was 50% off.  You can't argue with that.  As an added bonus he has asked for a scooter a time or two, just not since winter has gotten here.

Oh, yeah... and I got him a little box of Legos.  From his brother, of course.