Mother's Day 2016

Today was a quiet relaxing day... a low key Mother's Day.

Husband has some sort of plague or something, and as such his asthma is kicking his butt; but all said and done he kept up pretty good (aside from the nap this afternoon, but in all fairness the kids were sleeping as well).

This photo pretty much sums up the day:

Today was day #2 of ERP sleeping until 8am. Husband was already downstairs with the other boys so I carried him down and went back to bed. My boys brought me one of my favorite cereals and coffee and bed. They showered me with gifts: tub for soaking my feet, new foot stuff, hand made pictures from school... and Husband got me flowers.

While I ate with my small mooches, RR made desert, He made two... one for us and one for my mom... so I can't tell you what it was since she hasn't gotten her's yet.

Then we all watched Ghostbusters and called our loved ones. The movie was followed by an early lunch and naptime for the boys. I watched my shows and made my feet all soft and pretty. 

The boys woke and we goofed around... did laundry and woke up Husband.

Then the SUN finally came out. After a week of rain the clouds parted and out came the sun.

The boys ran through the yard, laughing and playing and picking me "sunflowers" (dandelions to the rest of us). 

After that we all made dinner together... lobster, corn on the cob and salad (the little boys had chicken nuggets and Husband had shandwiches... so lobster for RR and I). The small boys had been getting a kick out of the lobsters since yesterday. ERP calls them "dinosaurs". I taught RR how to break up lobsters with crackers. TT and ERP wanted nothing to do with them... until dinner was over. TT feel in love with the lobster shells.

He started bringing all the bits and pieces outside to play on the deck with. Then he started carrying around the heads. He kept trying to get ERP to touch them and ERP kept saying "No, thank you" and running away.

It was so sweet to watch. A moment I'd like to remember forever.

The ugliest part of the day is when ERP tried to climb his slide while carrying a beater full of homemade whip cream (part of desert) and took a tumble off the top landing on his shoulder and head. Thankfully he bounced back after a little bit. And promised mommy not to try and use with slide with hands full of beaters. 

Dinner was followed by a failed bath for ERP and showers for the big boys. Then a failed bedtime for ERP. Thankfully TT was all about bedtime, him and I snuggled and chatted about the day. He told me the blue and pink in the sky looked like they were fighting... and he thought the purple would win.

Oh and some point during today, ERP got himself dressed. Already!! I am not ready. That said I can barely convince TT to dress himself most days.

Happy Mother's Day Everyone.

Not Surgery Day

Today was suppose to be "surgery day".

Thankfully it is not.

Because it's too darn hot to be all miserable from surgery.

And because we're still learning about how to best deal with Husband's diabetes.

And because ERP is teething. Ergo he's miserable and surgery while he's miserable would have sucked.

Surgery was cancelled due to finding out that my thyroid cyst was benign. Woo Hoo!!

And... and this is a big and... the cyst shrank. It went from over 5cm to around 4cm. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but it was enough for it not to be putting pressure on my windpipe anymore. Seriously this change was life altering. Ok, so draining the cyst and it refilling was super painful. I couldn't talk to days, move my head or drive. I had pain in my jaw and ears. I was miserable. I would have given anything to have had my thyroid removed those days. But then the pain lessened. The neck pain I had been having for months and months went away. My doctor did another "look see" and was able to get good samples to test... and here were are.

Happy No Surgery Day!!

I do go back in six months to have it looked at again for more growths. But for now we celebrate.

I spent the day silently reflecting on how amazing the news of it being benign was. When I got word on Friday last week... I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

But today I kept thinking... "at this time we would be heading to the hospital"... when in fact I was eating breakfast with my family and my mom.

"at this time we would be going in to the operating room"... as I was cleaning my floors.

"at this time I would be coming out of the operating room"... as I was playing at the park with the little kids.

"at this time I would probably be heading home".... as I was playing in the pool with RR.

It was a good day...

A day I am thankful for. A blessed day....

Once upon a time....

Once upon a time, way back when it was just RR and me; I used to get up early nearly every Saturday morning and have "me time".

It was back before everyone was on Facebook and people hung out on-line on message-boards. Do people even still use those? I was a community leader for a couple of them and on Saturday morning I would drink my coffee in peace while RR slept and spend time on-line. I used to post a weekly feature called "Saturday Stuff" where we would all chat about the nuances of day to day life.

This morning I am awake, down in the dining room alone. Almost like "old times".

RR is technically awake, but around 8:30am I gave him his DS so he could go watch videos and play games in his room. QUIETLY. After all I did get some snuggles from him this morning, which at age 11 I will take them when I get them.

TT is catching up on some much needed sleep. As is Husband.

And ERP; ever since his reflux medication kicked in his sleep has greatly improved. I don't think I updated about that. ERP's been having signs of silent or not so silent reflux for ages. Everything from ear infections to back arching crying and screaming in the middle of the night. At his 18 month well child appointment I went in to it with an agenda. Try and fix this mess he was - his pediatrician agreed to try the reflux meds, and really something else to give he had started to lose weight. So after about one and a half weeks on medication he turned the corner. He stopped waking five or six times a night, like he had been for the last 18 months and was waking one or two times. He stopped the back arching crying and crying in the middle of the night. He started eating, most days. And now he sleeps until eight or nine most days; instead of up and crying and miserable at five or six.

Anyhow; here I am alone. Just me and a cup of coffee, and possibly some of the worst chocolate chip pancakes I have ever made. How chocolate chip pancakes can be "bad" is beyond me. But I did it.

Since I have started writing this the dog is now down here with me. This can only mean one thing. TT is awake. She sleeps under his bed, with his bedroom door closed.... and that's how we know he's up... Lily is out. This works out great at nap-time when he's not napping.

And with that... I have run out of things to write about this morning. And my coffee is getting cold. And I cannot eat this nasty pancake. So... have a great Sunday everyone!

Good-bye Maternity Clothes

Tonight I said good-bye to my maternity clothes. Three pregnancies over 11 years worth of maternity clothes.

Gone.

Out of my closet.
Out of my life.

I kept a few favorite pieces. Like the very first piece of maternity clothing I ever bought, back in the summer of 2003 when I was expecting RR. A jean-jumper. Which I will be honest, I wore last weekend strawberry picking.

I kept a holiday themed shirt that I wore often in my pregnancies with TT and ERP. It reads "Baby the Gift that Keeps On Giving".

But the rest of it; which honestly and sadly seemed to have more style to it than my everyday clothing; is gone.

Off to see another mama through her third pregnancy. After her maternity clothes went missing.

My maternity winter jacket I had passed on this past winter to a friend.

Off, out, and gone out of my life.

It's a little sad.

It's a turning point.

But I like to think of the new people wearing them. Of the other new beginnings they will see.

Super awesome swimsuit - GONE

The dress I wore to so many weddings - GONE

This well loved outfit from TT's birth - GONE

Had this shirt through three pregnancies - GONE

This is one I had to keep.

And this one.

Also gone - but look how cute?

And it's worth it... because I have these three guys and this stud muffin to show for it.

Summer Vacation

School is out!!

RR's summer vacation officially started on Monday afternoon. TT has been out of school since mid last week.

And so far... it's been a pretty good start to the summer. Now, if the weather would cooperate that would be great.

The boys are all signed up for the summer reading program and have eagerly dived into the books they got at the library today. Well, expect RR; he has like 5 new books on his Kindle. So he's diving into that. It doesn't have the same ring... but you get the idea.

This summer we are avoiding the "Summer Bucket List". We did this last year and in the end it made me depressed for not "doing anything". Seriously.

And with not having a list we've already done more items on last year's list than we did last year.

I made gummie bear popsicles. Yeah, I'm cool like that.
We went for a hike already.
We've been to several playgrounds.
We've been to Six Flags a couple times. Yup, got the boys season passes for Christmas.

And really I figure, between the season passes, the new park in town, the hiking club and the new pool and the summer reading program... really... what else do we need to do. Oh yeah... the weather to work out so the pool can get set-up.

School is out! Summer is here!

And oh yeah; summer surgery. Surgery for my partial thyroid removal is set for July 29. Talk about big and happening summer plans.

This summer is going to fly by. Between all of the things above to do. RR going to camp for a week in July. My surgery. And then heading to Maine to see my mom in August. It will be back to school time before we know it.

Here's to a great summer - can you see me raising my glass - now if only I can squeeze in a few coffee dates with my girlfriends.

Dusty Around Here: Biopsy

Last night Husband remarked it had been a long time since I made a blog post.

And he's right.

I've wanted to write. But I haven't been able to. I've been dealing with some medical issues, that have been affecting everything. And in order to blog about the boys, the holidays, work and what not I would have been impossible to not write about what was going on. And honestly I have been tired. And sore. I've kept up a good front around the boys. We have not said anything to RR, but as my surgery comes closer we will. I've been making the rounds telling people. I waited a long while to tell most people as I had to tell my mom first and in person. I have a few more people to tell and talk to about everything, and a few of them may read this blog before I get a chance to call. But it's time. I've mentioned it casually enough to enough people. And honestly I need to write about it. I need to get back to blogging. It's good for the soul.

It all started a little after Easter. It was a Tuesday. The kids were on spring vacation from school and I was driving home. I was about to be on vacation myself - traveling to see family in NJ and a wedding in MD. I was driving on a back road, by a farm; the day was warm the windows in the van where down. I had reached up to scratch my throat and I felt a lump in my neck. I played with the lump on and off while driving and when I got in the door I was very concerned about it. I told Husband I thought my thyroid was swollen. With everything we had planned for the next few days we felt it would be best if I went to urgent care to have it looked at. Urgent care had taken on a "serious case requiring many sutures" and was not taking anymore patients that evening when I walked in. The next morning RR woke with a fever over 103, then shortly after that Uncle F ended up in the hospital and out travel plans quickly came to a halt, so I made an appointment to see the NP at my primary doctors office.

The NP sent me for blood work and an ultrasound.

My blood work, testing thyroid function came back normal.

When my ultrasound results came back, no one in my primary care office would speak to me about the results. They referred me to an endocrinologist. Originally my appointment was for some time in June, but then I got a call that I couldn't wait that long to been seen and was given a same day appointment. Everything was moving very fast and no one would tell me answers. I was scared. I feared the worst. I was crying. Crying a lot.

The first endo doctor I saw finally gave me my test results. I had a 5cm nodule on my left thyroid. A biopsy would need to be done to see if it was benign or not. The odds were in my favor that it would be benign, 95% of thyroid cysts are.

More ultrasounds followed and the biopsy. Which was terribly painful. During this time we learned that the cyst was multi-nodular, it was a big pocket with lots of small pockets in it. It was officially labeled as a hemorrhagic multinodulous cyst. During the biopsy a good deal of blood was removed from it, but it quickly filled with blood again.

Within a week of the biopsy I was scheduled to meet with surgeon. Regardless of how the biopsy came out, at least half of my thyroid would need to be removed.  It is pushing my esophagus to the right and causing restricted movement in my neck.

When we met with the surgeon he gave us the biopsy results - inconclusive.

Still no answers. Once that part of my thyroid is removed they will test further for cancer. If it comes back as cancerous then I will have to go and get the rest of my thyroid removed. And possibly do a "one and done" radioactive iodine treatment.  Which has no hair loss or other nasty side affects, but would be a permanent end to breastfeeding. This is something I simply cannot comprehend. And just the thought brings tears to my eyes. ERP is no where ready to wean. At nearly 18 months, he isn't even 20 lbs. He wakes multiple times a night to nurse. He's not ready. I'm not ready. But who knows if it will come to that.

We are still waiting.

This whole ordeal started as a big rush.

Now I wait.

Wait for a date for surgery. My surgeon wanted to do it in June. But he is fully booked and can't get me in until late July. But that isn't even the final answer. Next week he'll look to see if anything in his schedule can be moved to have me brought in sooner.

My surgeon says most of his patients go home the same day as the surgery. Some stay over night. One guy went to work the next day, although most do not. He seems very versed in this surgery, having done some 7,000 over his professional life. He has bright white hair and a very faint British accent. He has an excellent bedside manner. He promises me the surgery will hurt less than the biopsy - which left me unable to speak for days and pain if I thought about speaking for the better part of a week.

For now, some days are better than others. Some days I can hardly feel the enlarged thyroid. Other days the pain is so intense, like it's sitting on a nerve - which I've been told is totally possible.

And while I know there are bigger battles in life I could be facing, this one has certainly given me a good scare. Some days the fear is overwhelming. Other days I can't get enough of my kids and other days I just want to lay in bed and wish the pain away.

But I take it one day at a time. For the last few weeks I have been at the mercy of my doctors and their schedules. I welcome getting the date for surgery and for the ability to plan around something. I want to be able to confidently schedule things - at home and at work - and not have to worry about "what if the doctor" calls today.

But most of all I am eager for the results of the biopsy. To know one way or the other for certain. to know if this surgery is the end of this mess, or the middle point. With half a thyroid there is a 70% chance that the remaining half will function as normal. So the surgery really could be the end of this mess... or it could be the half way point...

Only time will tell. And so I wait. One biopsy done. One more to go.

Little Moments

Life is full of little moments. Moments of tears and of joy. But more often, life is just full of regular moments. Shared secret smiles with your partner. Raspberry kisses on your belly from your child as you awake. Long nights nursing the baby; wondering if he will ever sleep through the night again. And then moments of wishing you never thought that, because before you know if those moments, days, weeks, months really; are passed. And that baby is no longer the tiny child sleeping with his cheek resting on your breast.

Life is moments struggling, watching your child, makes mistakes. Knowing you need to let them make those mistakes to learn for themselves.

Life is moments of homework and hand holding. Knowing someday they will be gone, off doing homework in their college dorm and holding someone else's hand.

Life is dinner as a family. Saying grace and thanking the Lord for what we have.

Daily moments are the fabric of our lives; and they weave an ever changing cloth. Often times a moment happens and I think I need to capture it, hold it forever in my blog or a scrap book. And while preserving those memories is key I often find it takes me away from creating other moments. Then I need to remind myself that it is important to have moments, time to myself. To think, to understand, to relax and get to a better place that will allow for a greater appreciation of tonight, tomorrow's, next month's moments.

Friday 5

1) Learning that ERP likes rocking out to Cyprus Hill - because dancing to Cyprus Hill is good "clean" fun

2) Watching Grown Ups 2 with Husband

3) Family game night - playing Thomas and Friends Memory - need I say more.

4) a $5 Halloween costume for TT - a big green dragon. Not he can't grow a single inch or gain a single ounce before Halloween otherwise it will not fit.

5) Snuggles in bed with my baby, after a late afternoon nap due to being sick... not to thankful for the sickness, but thankful for the nap and the snuggle.

Friday 5

1) WINE.  All the wine.

2) Knowing I have a movie and some alone time planned with Husband this evening

3) Knowing I have another, yes ANOTHER, date night planned with Husband tomororw

4) I am thankful the work week is over.  It was an insane one. One that made me want to pull out my hair and drink wine (see item #1 on this list).

5) Happy boys that are thrilled to see me when I get home and are eager to hug and kiss and nurse (if they are of the nursing age).

So strange...

The strangest thing happened last night.

I found myself in the kitchen cooking dinner and setting the table - ALONE.

This never happens.

But it did.

TT was watching Mickey Mouse with Husband in the office.  RR was drawing pictures in the other room.  And there I was in the kitchen, alone.

And it was quiet.  I think that's what did it for me, the quiet.  Normally dinner time is a bustle of activity.  Husband helping cooking, RR setting the table, TT stealing the plates or bits and bite of dinner and running around yelling.

It was strangely calm and serene and for a moment I pictured myself sipping a glass of a nice red wine... then I remembered I was pregnant and was whisked back into reality.

You Know Your Pregnant When

You know your pregnant when...

• you feel the need to throw-up while taking your vitamins
• you wonder where your ankles went
• you feel sick to your stomach washing the dishes
• you can't go to the bathroom without assistance
• going to bed at 9pm seems really really really late - YAWN
• watching anything on Food TV or food related makes you want to vomit\
• you require a cheeseburger now... not in 5 minutes, but NOW.
• the thought of anything remotely sappy makes you want to cry
• really wish people would not post pictures of food on Facebook, because they make you feel ill

What are some of the ways you know you're expecting?  

I dream of.... breastfeeding?

Last night I had the strangest dream.  I was walking into a bookstore, don's ask me how I knew it was a bookstore as I didn't see any books; but in my dream that is what it was.  As I walked in, I walked past the check out counter and next to the counter were two squat-square green armchairs.  And sitting in those armchairs where women breastfeeding their little ones.  In my dream I was disappointed, but happy to have to look for another place to nurse as I didn't want to nurse right by the front door.

So I wandered over to the cafe area of the bookstore, it was sectioned off with a black wrought iron railing. Inside the cafe women were sitting on comfy chairs around little white bistro tables.  Everyone in the cafe was a women, and everyone is the cafe was nursing a child.

Since there was no place to sit there I walked back to the front of the store to see if one of the chairs up there was now free, but it wasn't.  So I stopped and thanked the women nursing for doing so in public.  I don't recall exactly what I said, but I know it was a message of gratitude.

After that I felt lost in my dream, I wanted to nurse my baby (who I had been carrying in a cradle hold the entire dream), but I couldn't find a place to sit and relax....

... and then I heard my baby crying over the monitor so I went and gave him his pacifier and climbed back into bed.... on Sundays I don't like to get up and nurse until at least 7am, no matter what type of dream I have.

What to do?

I came downstairs from tucking in TT and started to look around and wondered "what do I want to do tonight?".  Without a further thought I started washing diapers and doing the dishes.  While I was SOSing the chili stuck to the bottom of the pot I got to thinking "This is NOT what I want to do tonight.  I want to do something that makes me happy."

I could.....

• work on putting together picture frames
• yoga!!  I've been meaning to do that for a few weeks
• watch "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant", because I've been meaning to watch that show for months
• do some school work, I didn't get to it this weekend and one of the downfalls of a self directed course is not pushing yourself sometimes
• research Easter ideas on Pintrest, it's been weeks since I've been on Pintrest
• look for ties for the boys for Easter
• mount and hang up some art work the boys have done for me
• start reading a new book
• print pictures of TT and actually start his scrapbook
• work on RR's scrapbook I have all of those pictures of him already...
• and breath.....

Then my thoughts started to change.  I should...

• put away RR's clothes
• fold TT's clothes
• put away my laudry
• clean out the pantry, why do I always look to clean when I want to relax?
• dust the light fixtures in the kitchen, see above note
• put away the Christmas coffee mugs, um yeah..... I think I have a problem

I really need to start doing things on my make me happy list.  The cobwebs can wait another day; I tell myself that when the boys want to do something.  I try and find a balance.  Must balance myself more... can you hear my chanting?... must balance myself more....

Frozen in Time

Last night I found myself reading my brother's obituary, something that happens every March; and I came to realize that this tribute wasn't just about him.  It was about US, as a family.  Who we were at that time.  It was a glimpse into our lives, frozen in time in the words on the page.

A lot has happened in the four years since my brother departed this world.  I was married and we welcomed a new baby, another nephew for my brother.  My brother and sister-in-law had another child as well; a niece for my brother.  My mother remarried a wonderful man.  That man that would make her a widow a few short years later.  My grandmother, who was listed as surviving my brother, is now with him on the other side.

At least he's not alone over there.  He does have good company.  And here on Earth his family continues to grow, and we share our memories with our children; as a brother is never forgotten.

Nursing in 2s

It has been quiet a journey, this breastfeeding experience....

At 2 hours old, it is 12:40am on Wednesday February 16, 2011; nursing you is a rush of new, yet familiar feelings.  There is a sense of great relief and encouragement that you were able to latch on right away.  You are warm and smell of new baby.  I feel your skin against mine and hold you tightly.  I am excited about your birth and so pleased to finally meet you.  I am hopeful that we will have a long and lasting nursing relationship.  Sleep is one of the furthest things from my mind.

At 2 days old, on Thursday; we are discharged from the hospital.  You're bilirubin levels are elevated, but we are sent home anyways as nursing is going well and the doctors seem confident they will continue to go down as you are nursing so well.  Little did we know I would faced with a delay in lactogensis II and you would end up back in the hospital on day 3.  But day 2 is of no worries.  We snuggle, we cuddle, and we nurse and nurse and nurse some more.  You and I are learning about each other.  I am experimenting with various nursing positions learning what you like (and don't like).  We spend a lot of time laying on the couch and in the bed.

At 2 months old; it is April 15; and we are hitting our stride with nursing.  I am developing an oversupply and we are working on the best way to combat that; eventually settling on 4 to 6 hour nursing blocks.  I am starting to get worried about going back to work in another month, but confident about my ability to pump breastmilk for you because I have been pumping at home (ever since that jaundice experience) and I know the pumping is making the oversupply worse, but I so want to reach the 6 month breastfeeding mark with you.  I am starting to feel confident we will make it to that mini-goal.  You cluster nurse for hours on end in the early evening.  You also love to nurse lazily over time and it takes upwards of an hour to nurse you before bed time.  I feel like I am missing out on time with your dad and brother; but I know this is just a phase and it will pass.

At 2 years; on February 15, 2013; I am wondering how we got here.  Don't get me wrong I know how we got here, one day at a time.  I am in awe of our ability to have nursed for 2 years.  Nursing you now is typically short 5 to 10 minutes at a time and you like to switch sides frequently, especially at bedtime and this drives me nutty.  You like for me to name-off body parts for you to point to while you nurse.  You giggle when we do "nose".  You call nursing "boobies".  I often wish I picked a different name for nursing.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever nurse another child as long as you.  I think about how we are slowly weaning and following your lead.  I feel a little sad and a little liberated when I think about the time we'll no longer be nursing.  You insist that I hold my breast while you nurse.  You get mad if I don't.  I get lost staring in yours eyes while you nurse; and my heart overflows... often times I fight back tears of joy.

Holiday vs. Snow Day

I've decided that snow days are more of a holiday than actual holidays are.  I always thought the idea of holidays was to relax and enjoy your family without having to work too much.  But that never seems to work out.  Now snow days on the other hand, those are perfect.

There are no gifts to buy, no gifts to wrap, no meals to plan, no chocolate bunnies or eggs, no costumes (unless you want to count staying in PJs all day), no fireworks (unless you are my neighbors), no place to go, no timeline to follow, Mass is canceled due to the weather so no guilt if you aren't able to make it.

Snow days are like holidays; but without all the "have to", "want to", or "need to".  It's just a day to be.  To catch up on laundry or your favorite TV show, to play a hand of cards with the ones you love, to built snow forts and train layouts, to take a nap, or bake a cake for the fun of it.

Snow days are a day to breath.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

My Grandma always was an avid reader.  When I was a girl she belong to the Reader's Digest Book Club.  She used to get two or three novels, classics, in the mail at a time and once she was done reading them I was free to borrow them.  Many times she let me keep them.

Some of the books were abridged, condensed versions of the complete Sherlock Holmes works for instance, but many of the books were in their original complete state.  All of the books were hardbound, with  fancy wanna-be-leather covers and gold or silver embossed titles.  Often times the books contained a few illustrations to go along with the story.  

I remember the excitement and anticipation of going to Grandma's and getting a new book.  It was one of the treasures her house held, along with steno-pads and very sharp pencils. Grandma would let me look over the book collection and I would go hide in one of the empty bedrooms that had once belong to my mother and read away.  Other times she would pop in for a visit and drop books off.  

I don't recall how old I was when I first read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (by Betty Smith), probably a little older than the heroine of the story Francie on "book 1".  The book was bound in green pleather and had gold embossed lettering; and it was love at first glance.  

At first I was just so proud of myself for being able to read such a long book.  I even boosted about the number of pages in it when I did a book report on it for school.  But there was something else too the book, aside from the 500 plus pages.  

What that something is, I cannot fully say.  I do not have the correct word for what it is that makes this book so special to me.

I have read this book a dozen or so times since I first read it.  I get a craving to read this book.  It's similar to the craving that Francie gets for a good Jewish pickle at the end of a long winter when nothing else tastes good.  After eating the pickle she can go back to eating her everyday meals.  I get that way about pickles myself and this book is the same way.  After reading it, I feel renewed.

I hadn't read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn in about four years and my craving for the book was getting to be an all time high, but I wasn't able to locate my copy (the same green bound edition Grandma gave me) since we moved.  And then I found it this summer.  It was in a box in the basement that had seen too much moisture and the book had molded.  The cover was curling over, the fake leather was peeling off the stiff thick cardboard that made the cover, it smelt dark and dank and mold grew on the edges.  Into the dumpster it went.  

I looked into buying another copy, but never hit the order button.  I checked to see if it was at my library, but it wasn't.  I thought about getting the movie, since I've never seen it; but didn't.

And then on Christmas morning I opened a gift from Husband and there it was.  The book I had been longing for.  

I read it in three days.  And as with every other time I read it, I understood more of the story.  I related deeper to the characters.  As with every other time reading it, it was like the first time reading it.   I knew the story line, yet I still laughed and cried like the first time.  I was moved.  I felt complete and relaxed when I was done.  Since then I have re-read certain chapters and pages; and I am sure if I started back on page 1 tomorrow I could re-read the book through and through again.  

If you have never read this book I highly recommend reading this book.  It was named one of the top 100 books from the last century; and there is good reason for that.

Hot Chocolate & Peppermint Mocha Lattes

Yesterday I made up a batch of homemade hot chocolate.  It has been far too long since I have made this from scratch.  Considering how easy it is, I really should do it more often.  This recipe is not for making hot chocolate mix, but rather for making it ready to drink.

Hot Chocolate

1 tbsp cocoa (baking, non sweetened)
2 tbsp powdered sugar
2 tbsp water

Combine above in pot over medium heat and whisk until smooth.

Add 1 cup milk (I use 1%) and 1 tsp vanilla extract and heat until desired temp.  Do not leave finished product on the burner as it will scald the bottom of the pan and make a nasty mess.



So after drinking this yummy-ness yesterday I started thinking about peppermint mocha lattes.  Oh how I love a good peppermint mocha latte.  In my opinion Starbucks is way better than the McD's one;  but it is twice the price.  Not to mention the weather had turned to snow and freezing rain and the brakes in the car need work.... so I decided to figure out how to make them at home.  All of the recipes I came across called for peppermint syrup (which I don't have) and espresso which I don't have (since college confiscated my fancy coffee maker my junior year), so I improvised.


Peppermint Mocha Latte

Make above Hot Chocolate recipe and add to it 1/4 tsp peppermint extract.  This stuff is strong and a little goes a long way.  You can always add more if you like, but use sparingly.  Then make some really strong coffee.  Husband and I think this is a great way to use up the "bold" k-cups we get in the variety pack that we don't normally like.

The nice thing about making this at home is you can make it your own.  For me a half coffee and half coco mixture worked well.  Husband preferred his 1/3 coffee to 2/3 coco mixture, with 2 tsp sugar added.

 
Oh... and I am a big fan of whip cream.  Yum!!

Enjoy!!

Peanut-Butter in His Stocking

While wandering around the grocery store on my lunch break (that is what everyone does on their lunch break isn't it?) I came across a jar of this - White Chocolate Peanut Butter.

It was like when Indiana Jones saw the Holy Grail - there was a flash of light and angles were signing.  OK, if that didn't happen in the movie you get the idea regardless.  I am terrible with my Indiana Jones, and Star Wars...

There it was.  It was calling me.
"Buy me for RR."
"He will love you forever."
"Your son needs me."  You get the idea.

You see RR has fallen in love with white chocolate, which isn't even really chocolate, but I'm not going to argue with an 8-year old who already knows everything.  I went through the same stage at his age.  White chocolate everything.  And my parents indulged me getting me white chocolate only on Easter, which was a feat back in the 80s.

So as I was lugging the $5 (on sale) jar off the shelf I decided this was going in his stocking.  It would fill it up nicely.

There you have it folks... the 8-year old is getting a jar of peanut butter for Christmas.  And not just any jar of peanut butter; White Chocolate Wonderful Peanut Butter.

Are You There?

Yes, I'm still here.

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  Yet.

Life has been full of blog-able moments.  I have tons of stuff to share with you.  But really life has been hectic.  Isn't it for all of us this time of year?

I really am making an effort to enjoy a simpler Christmas this year, thanks to a book I recently read.  So I can't really blame my lack of blogging on that.

I'm just not a fan of December.  I have a December birthday, and I am not a fan of my birthday.  Really I would skip the day all together if I could.  Some of it has to do with my paternal-grandmother's passing and funeral back on my 25th birthday; some of it has to do with the "whole year older" BS.  Some of it is because I really don't like celebrating my birthday.  I just don't get the idea of adult birthday celebrations.  Sure it makes sense when it's a milestone like 50 or 75 or any birthday after 85 for that matter.  I don't enjoy all of the attention.

Not to mention work has been insane.  Did I tell you I got a promotion at my day job?  I have this new added responsibility of managing other people.

When did I get so old?

And responsible?

We are also going through other organization changes at work, and moving around offices; and all that fun jazz that just makes for very long days.

Oh and I have been sick.  Head cold, turning into a chest cold.  The baby is getting it as well.

Good times in our house right now.

Everyone thought I was so on the ball for doing most of my Christmas cards before thanksgiving.  I'd like to think I was a little bit of a fortune teller.  I was able to see in December and see what a train wreck it was going to be and I acted on my premonition.

And no, that does not mean I will be waiting out the end of the world with the Mayans.