Tears in McD's

Why hello blog.... long time no write.  So much has gone on recently and I have a head full of blog ideas and I was hoping to put some thoughts out there this morning; while I sit in McD's drinking my ice coffee while the Big Boy is in CCD.... and I was hoping to work more on my practice IBCLC exams.... but alas, I sit here with a tear running down my check.... and I must say a pretty terrible ice coffee.  But I am in such a mood I have no desire to get up and complain and get it right....

Today marks 5 years since my youngest brother left this world.  He should be turning 29 in a couple of months.... but he's not.

So much has changed in the last 5 years, so much has stayed the same.  Hell, so much has changed since just this time last year.

Where to start, what to tell him about updates.  Hopefully he's been watching and knows... hopefully he is getting ready to make sure everything is going to be alright today.

In one of the stars, I shall be living.

In one of them, I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look into the sky at night.

~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

3 Months

ERP turned 3 months old yesterday.  I told Husband I felt like this time with him was flying by, that he was growing up way to fast and I swore TT's infancy did not go by this quickly.  Husband assured me it did; but having the holidays and two birthday's plus a whole slew of other things going on since ERP's birth has made it seem like life is rushing by.

Things have been different for me, this time around.  I didn't get the baby blues or PPD like I did with TT.  I am weepy today for the first time since ERP has been born, but that has more to do with my maternity leave officially ending tomorrow than anything.

ERP is still an "easy" baby.  He had a period of 3 days of crying and being terribly inconsolable a few weeks back,  but I chalked that up to hitting one of those Wonder Weeks early.  However, since that episode he's back to waking 3 or 4 times a night; he was only waking once.  Oh well.  I am sure I will sleep again.

These days he is awake more and more, unless he's going through a growth spurt. Speaking of growing, he is getting bigger but he is still a little peanut.  He is just now growing out of his newborn size onesies.  For clothing he is wearing a 0-3 months with a couple newborn and a couple 3-6 month outfits sprinkled in.

He is babbling up a storm and has giggled for Husband and his brothers.  He is super social and loves to flash his baby smile at anyone that talks to him.  His cries have changed as well.  My favorite is his "protest" cry in which he lets out a sharp wail of totally indignity.  He has found his hands and will stare at them for hours, he is also holding toys and fingers now and batting at his toys.

We have settled on Godparents and are looking to have him baptized in June - once his Godfather gets confirmed.  What a wonderful and special Uncle he has to go through all of that for him.

Things I don't want to forget:
~ The way his bottle lip quivers at times
~ How he stops and smiles at me while we're nursing
~ How when we are nursing and my milk lets down, he rolls his eyes back - a sign of total satisfaction in my eyes
~ How he holds me shirt while he nursing
~ The smell of him first thing in the morning
~ His baby mullet with a bald spot
~ His blowing bubbles with his spit
~ How warm he feels when I hold him
~ His grin, I can't get enough of it


Sorry, no pictures now.... my phone is having cord / charging issues.