It's Official

Today I am calling it official... I have a tween.

*sniff sniff* It's brings a tear to my eye.

Here's how I knew it was time:

1) He is obsessed with doing his hair and how his hair looks

2) The phone is practically glued to his ear

3) He has the teenage eye roll down to a pat

4) He still likes to play with decidedly un-teenage toys

5) He started looking for books to read in the "Teen" section at the library

6) Loosing teeth is still pretty cool, but he doesn't believe in or expect money from the tooth fairy

7) He can sit by himself AND behave in church (trust me I was expecting a Huck Finn move)

8) When we go out to eat, sometimes he orders off the kids menu and sometimes the adult one

9) He is now officially tall enough and mature enough NOT to sit in a boost seat in the car anymore

... and well I can't think of number 10... so 9 reasons it is.

Not Friends

We're not friends anymore.

Me and food that is.

Early on in this pregnancy food and I were pretty good friends.  I would have a craving, eat it and move along my merry little way.

Then around the 6 (or was it 8 week mark - my memory is a little foggy with the baby choking out my brain) I started getting that dreaded morning sickness.

This morning sickness has lead to a general aversion of food.

Which doesn't help because that just makes the morning sickness worse - not eating.  I have no idea how women of the 40s, 50s and 60s ever survived pregnancy on the advice to "watch how much you gain".  It must have been all the smokes and cocktails.

Some days I wake up and just can't eat.  Nothing sounds edible.  But I try and make the most of it.  Until every suddenly feels and tastes like wet sand in my mouth.

And then I have a craving, and I can't eat anything until that craving is taken care of.  And it's not like the cravings stick around so I can stock up on peanut-butter or ice cream or something.  Cravings are fleeting.  They are mean.  Friends are not mean.

I try to eat, and some days are better than others... but most days are not.

Food laughs at me.  It mocks me.  It says "If you don't eat me you will feel like vomiting".  It is right.  But it always laughs and says "Go ahead and try to eat me, you won't be able to muscle down a bite."

Many days I wonder if this is what it feels like to be battling an eating disorder.

And then something smells off, and everything I ate threatens to come back up.  Or I hiccup,or sneeze... and the same thing happens.

Food is not my friend.

Sigh... I certainly hope this doesn't make for a picky baby.

Silent Saturday - Green Thumb

He picked, designed and planted his first flower bed.

You Know Your Pregnant When

You know your pregnant when...

• you feel the need to throw-up while taking your vitamins
• you wonder where your ankles went
• you feel sick to your stomach washing the dishes
• you can't go to the bathroom without assistance
• going to bed at 9pm seems really really really late - YAWN
• watching anything on Food TV or food related makes you want to vomit\
• you require a cheeseburger now... not in 5 minutes, but NOW.
• the thought of anything remotely sappy makes you want to cry
• really wish people would not post pictures of food on Facebook, because they make you feel ill

What are some of the ways you know you're expecting?  

Operation Toddler Bed

With the new baby coming we wanted to get TT out of the crib and into his big boy well before baby to avoid any jealousy or the toddler "mine" in regards to the crib.  So today we started Operation Toddler Bed.

This story is sub-titled "Watch How Slowly We Get TT Dressed Today".

Here's TT helping Daddy assemble the bed.  

Trying it out for the first time.  We left his crib up in his room, but over to the side - just incase.  

He figured out he could bring toys on the bed and play with them.  Not sure how I feel about this one.

TT trying to figure out the best way to get down.

He took the pillow pet off the bed.... he does not believe in having the "wrong" stuffed animals or blankets, etc on his bed.

But boots... now those are OK to have on the bed.  Sorry about the blurry picture.

Finally nap time.  Let's hope bedtime goes this well.  Fingers crossed.

The Bloat is Gone

TMI Warning - Lots's of talk about lady bits and the "upside" of pregnancy.

I had heard somewhere that pregnant women have a tendency to over share; to tell too many details, to really get into the nitty gritty of what is going on.  This is one such story.  But one I feel that needs to be told because when I looked on-line for more information there was very little information out there.

For the past week or so when I would wake up in the morning I was having a hard time going to the bathroom, and I don't mean like constipation.  I couldn't pee.  I would have to sit on the seat and wiggle about to go.  Then that stopped working, so I would get up and jiggle my belly and try to bounce baby around.  Then that stopped working and I would pace around and dance around until I was able to go.

Then Tuesday came and I could not go.  I tried running my fingers under warm water (old trick from junior high I am sure you all know about), I showered and tried to go in there (hey, I am the one that cleans the tub), I got dressed and decided to go get gas - maybe really moving around would get things going.  I drank some cranberry juice, thinking I was a little dehydrated (but my bladder told me otherwise).  Still nothing.  After about 2 hours of this and some major muscle spasms I decided to call my midwife.  She suggested lying in a warm bath and to try going that way.  I was told if that didn't work I would need to go in.  I laid in the bathtub for 40 minutes.  40 long minutes.  Husband and I decided we would leave to go to the midwife as soon as the bus came for RR.  But the bus was late.  Of course it was late.  I was in so much pain... so we took him with us.

We get to the midwife's office and she drained my bladder.  I am sure you can figure out how she did that... and no it was not comfortable, but it was better than the alternative.  1,200 cc of urine later and we are done!!  1,200 cc - that's a little over 5 cups and about 2.5 lbs.  Holy cow... the bloat is gone.  I get warned if I can't go again to call them sooner, don't wait so long.  I promise and we head to breakfast.

You see one of the joys of having a retroverted uterus is that in some rare cases; lucky me I get to be rare, it causes "urine retention".  Basically your uterus crushes your urethra and you simply can't go on your own.  About 1/3 of all women have a retreoverted uterus, the vast majority of those "right" themselves between the 10 and 12 week mark.  Mine on the other hand not so much.  The chance of this happening is about 1 in 8,000 pregnancies.

Anyhow, we all go to breakfast to celebrate mom going pee.  I have a couple glasses of water and a couple cups of decaf.  We get home and I race into the house having to go... and nothing.  I mean nothing.  I want to cry.  I didn't talk a "what if" plan with my midwife.  So I call her back, and she consults with the OB on staff.  I have three choices 1) get a pessary (a what I said... more to come on that) 2) get a folly catheter or 3) learn how to cath myself every-time I have to go to the bathroom (which on a good day is every 30 minutes).  So right off the bat options 2 and 3 are out in my opinion, so we wait another few hours and drive all the way back (it's 40 minutes each way... picking up RR from school - he basically went for lunch and recess that day) for the pessary.

Basically a pessary is a medical device inserted in the vagina.  Typically they are used to treat pelvic organ prolapses or to help with incontinence.  Mine was inserted to help straight out my uterus and to take pressure off my bladder.  So after trying on a few for size, talk about painful, the OB selects one and asks me to use the bathroom.  Which I do.  Then he wants to insert catheter #2 of the day, to see if I really emptied my bladder.  And it turns out I didn't.  I still had some 500 cc of urine up there.  Gah!!  Does it ever end.  Now he wants to "give my bladder a break" and install the folly cath for a couple of days.  Oh dear.  Onto catheter #3 for the day... this one I get to wear home.  Around my leg thank you very much.

I can barely walk.  I can barely sit.  It's nearly impossible to get comfortable.

I spend the next 48 hours miserable with all this crap shoved places I really don't think things should be shoved.  I cry several times.  Sometimes from the pain.  Sometimes because I feel like I hit a new low.  I am able to work from home, keeping as comfy as possible on the big chair or the bed.  Husband runs around after the boys, does all the lifting and takes care of me.  My brother in law comes over to lend a hand, he's a sweetie.  I have to eat alone in the living room because I can't sit on the kitchen chairs.  It sucks.  I mean really sucks.

Finally I go back and the midwife takes out the catheter.  I feel human again, almost... still can't sit right, still can't walk right.  Nine more days of the pessary.  How do some women live with these?  I swear mine is too big.

But hey, at least I finally got TT's haircut... the one place he behaves for a haircut is down the street from the midwive's office.  So there's a silver lining.

I love this baby... I really do.  I've asked so many times in the last few days for them to check on this baby.  But really this baby needs to stop giving mama such a hard time... his/her brothers were way easier to be pregnant with.  That being said, I have decided once this one comes it will have to be the chillest baby ever, to make up for all.... 27 more weeks till we meet them.

Heartbeat

Back on May 23rd I went to a midwife (MW) appointment for #3 (I was 11 weeks along at that time).  The appointment started out great, I had lost a little weight (but nothing concerning), blood pressure was good, urine was good, and we chatted for a bit.  Then she said those magic words "let's see if we can find that baby's heartbeat".

I should have stopped her right there.  I should have know, based on my previous pregnancies; that we would not find the heartbeat.  But I was so caught up in the moment I didn't speak up.

She got out the doppler and looked and looked and looked some more; probably for a good 10 minutes and the heartbeat could not be detected.  You see I have what they call a retro-verted uterus, which means if points to my tailbone instead of forward or vertical.  It's actually fairly common, and this type of uterus typically rights itself during 10 to 12 weeks of pregnancy, mine have a history of not doing so until 14 to 16 weeks.  I went through this with RR and was sent for an emergency ultrasound.  With TT we didn't look for it until later around 13 weeks.

My MW told me we shouldn't be too concerned, as we had a nice strong heartbeat at 9 weeks via trans-vaginal ultrasound.  She told me we could schedule an ultrasound or I could just come back sooner than a month.  I opted for the ultrasound, since I had to have one done anyways for the triple screen testing.  And so the ultrasound was booked.

It was a full week and 2 days away.

9 days to sit around and wonder if #3 was OK.

I was mad at myself for letting her try to find the heartbeat.  I should have known it was too soon.

I was scared something was wrong.

But at other moments I knew everything was fine.

It was a very long 9 days.  I told very few people in real life what was going on.  Two people to be exact; Husband (obviously) and a co-worker (who could tell I was not doing well after that MW appointment).

I asked my mom to come along for the ultrasound, and I prayed it would only be good news.  This was going to be the first ultrasound for her grand-kids she had been to.... and this is grand-baby #6 for her.


The night before I hardly slept and spent time from 4 am till 5 am surfing the internet and watching Extreme Couponing on Nextflix (my current guilty TV pleasure).

The morning of the ultrasound, RR asked to come with us; too see the new baby (or get out of taking his spelling test, you decide).  And I prayed for a good outcome.

I was scared when the lights dimmed and baby wasn't moving.  But then the tech confirmed the heartbeat (at 164) and perfect growth; right on track at 12 weeks and 2 days.  And I was so relieved and happy.

Turns out baby is just very chill and relaxed...