About 2:20 this afternoon we; RR, TT and myself, were in the activities room at a local nursing home with the rest of the Cub Scouts in RR's pack. Everyone was singing their hearts out for the residents. RR was in the back with one of his best buds and TT and I were chilling over on the side with his girlfriend and her mom. I was having flashbacks to my days a Girl Scout and going Christmas caroling around the the neighborhood. The streets were snowy and frosty and I am sure my mom had hot chocolate waiting for us when we got back. It was around this time that I finally decided on where I wanted to go for my belated-birthday dinner; 99 Restaurant. I was in the mood for steak.
You see I had the best plan laid out for today. I took the boys to breakfast and grocery shopping in the morning. TT was suppose to nap when we got home; then lunch and out to Christmas caroling for 2pm. After caroling was through; and since we were in the neighborhood, we were going to swing into our local Toy and Baby Mega Store and get the boys Christmas gifts off lay-away and grab some needed day-to-day baby items (read disposable diapers for night time and wipes). We had plans to meet my mom for dinner; and I figured we would go see the mall Santa while waiting for her.
My plan did not take into account what would happen if TT didn't nap. My plan also didn't take into account what would happen if TT refused lunch.
Guess what? TT didn't nap. TT didn't eat lunch, aside from a few bites of banana.
But still I was optimistic. There we were at the nursing home and the boys were signing and my heart was filling with holiday cheer. The residents clapped and we began our tour around the facility signing for the residents and handing out cards. TT was doing well. Very well. He was happy and smiling and clapping and flirting with any old lady that would give him a smile.
And then he wasn't. We reached the end of the rounds and they were handing out ice cream, and TT had to wait to get some and he lost it. By far the biggest meltdown of his life. Other parents were trying to console him, offering him toys, music on their phones. Nothing. Husband showed up just in time to help me wrangle him into the car.
Oh, the crying and the tears he was miserable. But then he calmed down some and ate his ice cream in the car. Husband and I couldn't decide what to do. We bickered about it. Just go home or do we carry on? We opted to carry on. We got to the store. It was insanely crowded. I went to get the lay-away. He took the boys to look around. I texted my mom with an update and got the gifts into the car quickly.
Upon coming back into the store I came across the rest of my family. TT had spotted a Mickey Mouse train-set. Does it get any better in his eyes? I think not. Where we buying this train? I think not. And so the water works and the tears ensued; again. He screamed. He flailed around. Green snot was pouring from him nose. He was red in the face and sweating.
I tried to save my day out with the family. I walked Teddy and walked him some more; hoping he would fall asleep. We offered him more food and more walking. But there was no hope. We needed to go home and he needed to go to bed.
I know in the grand scheme of things days like these don't matter. I know we made the residents at the nursing home happy and I know my mom isn't upset about missing dinner and I know there will be more chances to see Santa. But I still feel bad. Like I could have controlled whether or not TT slept. I think not.
And I am very grateful for my children, no matter how many meltdowns they have, no many how many plans are ruined. I am thankful that they are alive and well and are able to ruin plans. The tragedy in Connecticut yesterday really hit home for me, as it did with most of the nation. I've hugged my boys longer and tighter since then. I cannot fathom sending my boys off to school and never seeing them again. My heart truly breaks for all of those affected.
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