Wednesday, November 27

Waiting & Wondering

Today I am 38 weeks pregnant; and as most women who reach this stage in pregnancy I am starting to wonder - not just about what my little one will be like, but about what labor will be like.  

My previous two labors where vastly different; and I some how feel like I have covered the labor spectrum... aside from the fact that neither of my labors where remotely like anything mentioned, reviewed or taught in the two childbirth classes I took.  

With RR, who was born at 38 weeks.... whoever said your first never comes early... idiot.... my first was my earliest.... I had a cervix check on Friday and was told I wasn't dilated... he was born less than 24 hours later.

With TT I walked around for weeks and weeks dilated.  I kept feeling like he could and would come any day now because I was already progressing.  Nope, he waited to make his appearance just a couple hours before his due date.  

With neither boy I went throw a text book "early labor".  I've read many many birth stories and believe early labor is a real thing - they are amazing stories... I love reading about how these women just carried on with their day to day activities waiting for labor to really get going.

When RR was born I woke up early in the morning to one strong cramp, walked into the bathroom and my water broke.  The real contractions didn't start for a good two hours after that, and didn't get regular for at least 3 or 4 hours.  

When TT was born I had one or two really strong contractions and I knew it was time.  I have no idea how I knew, but I knew.

With RR I had this calm about me... I showered while I let my ex and my Goddaughter sleep in.  I ironed my clothes while I waited for my doctor to call me back.  I was relaxed and calm (obviously since I wasn't having contractions) while we drove to the hospital.  

With TT I had a calm in my voice when I told Husband not to freak out, but I thought it was time.  I stressed in the shower because the contractions were coming so fast; and I was anything but calm and relaxed on the car ride to the hospital as I went from active labor to transition and tried not to give birth in the car.  

With RR I opted for an epidural, which didn't work so well and had to argue with the doctors about being ready to push because they thought it was too soon.

With TT I went all natural and didn't wait for a doctor (thank you on-call midwife in attendance).  

So here I sit, 38 weeks pregnant and I wonder what this labor has in store for me.  Yes, I am already dilated... but I know now that doesn't mean a thing.  I've been offered an induction, not once but twice so far (because I was group B strep positive a couple weeks ago - we are retesting currently - and I have a history of precipitous labor).  I wonder what it would be like to know baby is coming on such a such a day.  How to women who have scheduled inductions and c-sections deal with the impending date.... knowing it's a real date that baby will come?  I've been told that I could have my baby this weekend if I like.  Do I really want to be that selective?  

So I sit here, wondering and waiting.... what is in store for me this time around.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts