So... you want a job?

It's been a long time since I've had to look for a job.  Nearly 13 years.  That is not to say I haven't toyed around with other offers during that time; but I haven't had to put myself out there.  That being said, I would like to think that my expectations of job candidates are not that far fetched... correct me if I am wrong.

My exceptions  -

1) Send a cover letter with your resume.  Make it look like you care.

2) Do NOT address that cover letter to "Dear Sir".  Do not assume that the person reading your resume is a man.  Believe it or not, but women actually get to hire people in this day and age.  Can you believe it?

3) Take the time to read  who the contact is on the job posting and address the cover letter to that person.

4) Grammar.  Enough said.  OK, sure my grammar on this blog is terrible sometimes (most times).  But you know what? I'm not using this blog to get a job.  Besides I prefer to think of my grammar or lack thereof as "stress of conscience"  writing.

5) Spelling.

6) MS Word, which 99.9% of the resumes I get are submitted in, has functions to check grammar and spelling.  USE them.  Have I made my point yet?

7) And if you are going to use MS Word to write your resume; make it your own.  Do not reuse the qualifications and objectives that MS Word suggests.

8) Do NOT copy and paste qualifications and objectives from another document, and if you insist on doing this at least get rid of the format (font color, font type, text color, text background color) that makes it obvious you copied and pasted.

9) Do NOT say you are "proficient with MS Word" or  have "excellent written communication skills" if any of items 1 through 8 apply to you.  Any of items 1 through 8.

10) Wear a clean tie, dress socks, pressed pants, etc when you go to the interview.

11) Arrive on-time.  Not too early and not too late.  If you are late, call*.

12) Shake hands and look people in the eye.

13) Take off your winter jacket.

14) Bring a copy of your resume with you.  I know you know I have a copy; but what if someone else was to come to the meeting?

15) Research the company you are going to interview at.  Have questions.  Be prepared.

16) Do not mention your new marriage, deceased father, or other emotional baggage more than once.  I understand the need to mention these items when explaining gaps in your work history, but this is not a therapy session.

17) Send a thank you note when the interview is over.  Snail mail is great, but e-mail works too.  That is unless you don't want the job.

18) When you send that thank-you note, but not send it only to the men that interviewed you.  Remember that women that held the phone interview with you and called you in.  She is your future boss.  She will not call you back for a second interview if you offend her on this level.

I really thought I had been off my rocker by expecting these things.  I was starting to wonder if I was a little dated and not-in-the-now by expecting certain things.  But after talking with my boss, who has been hiring people for a lot longer than I have AND talking with our newest employee I realize I am not expecting too much.  This hiring process has been an eye opener for me.  It has taught my a lot about myself and what I expect of myself, and thus in turn I have learned to better "read between the lines".  Sigh... I honestly didn't think hiring someone would be so tough.

* In regards to #10 I was late for my first interview with my company.  I was really late.  I got so lost.  Keep in mind this was before everyone and their grandmother had a cell phone, before GPS, and all that fun jazz and the directions I had gotten where from a German, and his first language was clearly not English.  So I can appreciate being late, but you need to call.  If I was able to find a pay phone back in.... you do the math, then you can pick up your cell and give me a ring.