I was in 2nd grade when W was born (times have changed for the ages kids start school since my day), and I had my hopes on him being a girl. Already having two younger brothers, and knowing what kind of trouble they were I really, I mean really, wanted W to be a girl. It was during lunch when the school nurse came in to tell me my mother had the baby, it was a boy she told. I cried out "Not another stupid brother" and locked myself in a stall in the girls room for the rest of the afternoon. One of the names my parents had been tossing around, should he had been a she was Leah - that's how much I wanted a sister. I still remember the naming conversations.
Like with my parents back in 1985, Husband and I didn't know the sex of Monkey until he was born. Everyone was certain I was having a girl. Husband always referred to our unborn child as a she, and I kept reminding him the baby could be a he. The only real hold-out for the boy possibility was Turkey. He desperately wanted a brother, and he got that brother. I guess this fact may help their relationship to begin with, no resentment in the sex of the sibling at such a young age.
My memories of W growing up are scattered. I remember him being a little tiny baby, probably a year or so, when we went on our first and only family vacation to Jelly Stone park. I have a picture burned in my memory of me lifting W out of his crib while one of my other brothers looked on. I can recall some of his birthday parties, especially the hot ones that are common in May in New England. I remember his Baptism, shortly after my first communion. I recall his First Holy Communion. I remember summers at our summer house while I was in high school and how he loved the girls, even at such a young age. Mostly I remember his cheeks. He always had the pudgiest cheeks and the most addicting smile.
In junior-high school I had a resentment towards him, because on half days from school I couldn't always go and hang out with my friends. I often had to go home and babysit him (and my other brothers). It sounds so stupid to admit that now, but in the mind of a pre-teen / teenager it was a big deal.
My other brothers D and P are closer to my age. D and I were in high school at the same time. And P was often invited to hang out with me and my friends.
But W and I grew up at two different times, almost in two different families. I was an adult, living on my own, and working in another state when our parents divorced. He wasn't even in high school yet. Hell, I missed his high school graduation. I couldn't tell you why, but now this is something I regret.
As W became an adult himself I tried to make him part of my life. I tried to learn more about him and what made him tick, aside from motorcycles, music and hanging with our middle brother P.
But I never really had the chance, as he was gone from his world too soon.
And I think that is my biggest wish for my boys, Monkey and Turkey. That the 7 year age difference between them never causes resentment and that they know each other. They don't have to be friends, but they need to know each other, and be part of each others lives.
Even when Turkey goes away to college, and moves on with his own life; I hope and pray that he always knows Monkey. Because you never know; sadly you never know.
In loving memory of Wayne Junior - May 15, 1985 to March 23, 2009
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