Really??

Today I got, yet another, postcard from Similac (the formula company).  They were inviting me to join their StrongMoms community, and as an incentive I would receive a "free gift" - a Similac bottle.  Just what I needed and wanted!!!  (Please tell me you can read the sarcasm in this line.)

Husband kept asking me "Are you really going to sign up for that junk?".

Why yes, yes I am.  Yes, I did.  I signed up on the StrongMoms community.  And because I signed up they are going to send me up to $329 in membership gifts, offers and infant formula and coupons.  

Really???

I mean - REALLY??? 

I am pretty sure that when you hit the 17 month breastfeeding mark your not going to decide it's time to switch to formula.  At least I know I am not about to.  Breastfeeding is best choice for me, and I am studying to become a breastfeeding counselor so I can help other women fulfill their breastfeeding goals.  Breastfeeding is something I love.  I really do.  It's something I am passionate about.

And I think that is partly why I signed up.  I want to know, I want to see, what promotional offers formula companies are making.  What incentives to not breastfeed they are waving in women's faces.  

So yeah... I joined a formula feeding community.  I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing, however I highly doubt I will ever participate in their conversations, and I have selected all e-mails to be sent to an account I use for junk.  

Sigh.... it's a dark moment.  But it makes me smile.  

(In other related new I also got a letter from the GOP soliciting a donation.  I am a registered Independent, and with liberal-green-libertarian left leaning views. So, um yeah.... this letter also made me think "really???")

Book Review: Certain Girls

I finished reading Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner last week, and the end of it left me speechless.  It hit a nerve for me, and while I am not going to give away any of the twists and turns I will admit I cried over this book (for several days).

When I Googled this book to find an image for this post I learned that this is a book is actually a sequel to Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner (which for whatever reason I passed up at the library for this book - I saw the first book but was pulled to this one); thankfully this novel does not rely on you reading the first novel first. As was clear by my reaction when I learned of the first book.

Certain Girls follows the heroine Candace Shapiro and her daughter Joy as the navigate the mother-daughter relationship in the pre-teen years; while at the same time deal with the fall out from the book Candace wrote in the first novel.

One of the minor themes this book explores is having children via a surrogate.  I've often thought of this as something I would like to do.  I toyed with the thought for years before meeting Husband and lately it's something that has been on my mind quit a bit.  I love the idea of being able to give another human the gift of parenthood that they may not have been able to realize without my help.  I love being pregnant; but I wonder would I be able to walk away from the baby.  Knowing completely well that it was not mine, that I was "merely" caring for it for 9 months; like a long term babysitter if you would.  I think this doubt is what has stopped me from looking into doing this further; but the women that are able to do this are truly amazing.

This book is wonderfully written and though provoking.  It's one of those books you just can't stop reading.

Day Out

The Big Boy is on his annual vacation with my mom this week (and he's off to camp next week); so Husband and I decided to have a day out alone with TT.  I had an doctor's appointment early Monday morning in the city, and the weather was suppose to be perfect so we decided to make a morning/day of it.

We had bagels for breakfast, played in the park, did lots of window shopping, lots of walking, sipped yummy beverages and got TT his first lollipop.

Thankful

Way back in the day, on this blog, I would write up three things I was thankful for.  I was trying to reshape my thoughts to focus on life in a more positive light (after a series of tragic events).  I haven't posted these three things in a while, and not because I was not  /am not thankful; but because... well, I don't really have a reason.

That being said I find myself very thankful as of lately, especially after yesterday morning.  You see the day started out like any other.  I was on my commute to work, about 25 minutes from my house; driving along the interstate when all of a sudden my brakes locked up.  Thankfully I was in the right hand lane and "only" doing 70 mph.  Traffic was heavy, as usual; and yet somehow I managed to not get rear ended as my car quickly, and unexpectedly braked.

I am thankful that I was not hurt and that no one else was hurt in the process.

I am thankful for the state trooper that came to my aide.  I appreciate his effort to try and push my car further to the side of the road, albeit an unsuccessful effort.  I am thankful he was able to call a tow truck.

I am thankful for my Husband for being there when I called, and for helping me out with numbers and coming up with a plan of action.

I am thankful for the DOT worker that checked on me to see if he could help.  Knowing people want to help you in a time of need really helps you remain positive.

I am thankful for the tow truck driver who came and got my car; who waited around with me for my Uncle who was coming to my rescue.

I am very thankful for my Uncle for rescuing me, yet again, when my car broke down.  I appreciate the ride, him letting me use his car and his AAA membership.  I am thankful for the smile on his face, despite the early hour and the rain when he got to me.

I am even thankful for my boss - who is very understanding, even if a little sarcastic, for helping me laugh about the situation.

I am thankful.  Thankful for it all.

Welcome to the Mad House

It's 8:30am, and TT is hanging of the door of the freezer (no he is not an acrobatic, our freezer is on the bottom), trying to rip it open and screaming his head off.  I have just committed the gravest of ills in his eyes. I got myself ice out of the freezer and denied him a freezer-pop.  I calmly bend down, look him in the eye and tell him "You cannot have an icee before breakfast."  He throws his head back and wails, even louder, turning red with tears streaking down his face.

Welcome to the mad house.

TT has developed quiet the little temper these days.  It has to be done his way on his terms.

He does not like getting his diaper changed.  He does not like getting dressed.  He does not like anything that  involves his changing table.

These things make him mad.  Real mad.

If you deny him a toy he will lay on the floor and cry.

He turns beet red.  Some times he stomps his feet, slaps things, throws things.

Oh oh wait... my favorite... when he throws himself down in a full on hissy-fit.  That's always a good one.

I know you're not suppose to laugh when they throw their fits, but it is so hard not to.

So I stifle my laughter, and then I feel bad for him.  Poor little guy.  He just doesn't understand.  Or perhaps he just doesn't like "no" or being told what to do.

Now that I think about it.  Does anyone really like being told no or what to do?  I think not.  I guess as we get older we get tamer.... however in the meantime I am going to enjoy this trip back to the mad-house, as I swear I don't recall the older boy ever throwing a fit at this age.

Selective memory, I think.

In case you missed it, I've changed the boys' names on the blog.

New Names

After some 400 posts I am tired of referring to my sons as Turkey and Monkey.  

Partly because they are annoying words to type.  Partly because they are easy to confuse.  Partly because they are a little unfit to call them.

So going forward The Big Boy, formally known as Turkey, will be called RR.  Baby Boy, formally known as Monkey, will be called TT.

That makes my life easier.  (And yes, it's all about me. :-) )

An Open Letter to Moms

This blog is about a lot of things, motherhood being one of the central themes; and with that in mind I had taken "the mom pledge blog".  (To see this link-up go to my Stuff is Stuff page.)  No there was no swearing in ritual, there was no blood letting, no secret meetings, it was all pretty straight forward and clean-cut.  My pledging was rewarded with my blog being highlighted at one point or another.  I also get the occasional e-mail from the group, and one I received a few weeks ago got my attention and I wanted to share it with you:

Click here for link:

Silent Saturday

Found this under his crib... apparently he's part hamster.

His Kind of Clean

A while ago I was watching Hoarders on Netflix while folding laundry and Turkey came in to join me.

Now if you're not familiar with the show each show features two different families/individuals that are dealing with compulsive hoarding.  The type of hoarding that leaves makes it impossible to throw anything out.  So in the end these families end up living in a state of squalor, in which protector services are called for both children, the elderly and animals.

Now Turkey's room was usually in a state of clutter.  The always stepping on Legos (which really hurt if you've never done so), can't find his shoes, and keeping every paper he's ever drawn on kind of clutter.  OK, I'm being kind; it was a mess.  A big hot mess, that I would clean really well two or three times a year, and he would "pick-up" every weekend.

In watching this show Turkey came to the realization that he doesn't really keep his room "that clean".  Actually I think the show disgusted him, as I am sure it does most people that watch it; and since then he has made a point of keeping his room clean.

Mommy trick #23,145 - Have your kids watch Hoarders to ensure clean bedrooms.

His room isn't my kind of clean, but rather it's kind of clean.  He's learning how to organize, how to pick up after himself, figuring out a cleaning strategy that works for him.  I am really proud of him for this.  I'm not going to nit-pick and tell him his shoes don't get organized with Legos - I'm just glad I'm not stepping on them anymore.

His snake, carefully curled up, tucked into a blanket and set to "read" Lego comics.

For some reason he feels his baseballs belong in these way too big sneakers my brother gave him.

His Halloween pumpkins, keeping an eye on things in his room.
He's assured me they will come downstairs and be part of the decorations when the time comes.

The Lego-and-Shoes pile.

His watch carefully laid out on his alarm clock.
Which is on his nightstand along with his fish, his "bug spray" and his savings jars.

This cracks me up.  

He keeps this pillow between his night stand and bed to cover up his book collection.

So it "doesn't look messy"... and that's a quote.

 The book collection under the pillow.

His very clean desk.  He was on his laptop in Husband's office when I snapped his pictures.

He has started rearranging his draws and trying to make things more useful.

I had kept his PJs in here, but I see where he's going this is better as an underwear and sock place.

I must say I am really proud of the kid.  I love how he's taking better care of his stuff, and I love watching him evolve.

Project Food Budget (Week 42)

Wow... week 42 already.  Only 10 weeks left in this project, how is that even possible.  I feel like my growth in this project has been slacking lately, and tonight was a big slap in the face in regards to that.

I spent about $7 at the farm stand earlier this week, one thing lead to another and we didn't eat the meals in the order I had planned this week (it was hot, I mean HOT and humid, and then the library closed the night we were going to go (because of the weather).  Anyhow, long story short... I know too late for that right, I ended up throwing out 90% of that produce tonight.  Ugh.  Then to add insult to injury the bag salad I had bought wilted before we ate it as well.  So tonight I ended up throwing out some $15 in food.

Budget: $125
Spent: $63.25 at the grocery, $7 at the farm stand and $30 (with tip) out at dinner

Actual meals this week:
Monday: Pasta salad
Tuesday: hot dogs, beans and cucumbers
Wednesday: dinner out
Thursday: ham steaks, Parmesan noodle and carrots and salad (if you count a bowl of iceberg salad)
Friday: bean burritos
Saturday: Parties!!!!  (not here)

Let's see how everyone else did this week:

• Emily Levenson
• Dairy-Free Cooking
• Cook Write Heal
• Warm As Pie
• xox, b
• Project Food Budget 2.0
• That's Just Me
• Two Eggs Over Easy
• Eat Whole Be Vital
• Four Happy Violets
• Pgh Dad
• yogabeautylife
• naMAMAste
• Six Dollars a Day
• What da Health?
• French Press
• Veggie Meal Maker
• Eryn Says...
• Charmingly Modern

The Crying Alarm Clock

In the middle of the night I woke up to the baby crying.  This is what babies do.  OK, ok, he's technically a toddler now, and most kids his age sleep through the night; at least this is what I am lead to believe.

I glanced at my clock.  2 AM on the nose.  Blah.  Maybe he'll take his pacifier.

On the way down to his room I stopped to use the loo.  This took far longer than I would have thought.  Did I fall asleep in there?  Before long I was listening to him wail.  The tired muffled cries I had heard moments before had turned into a full force screaming and crying fit.  He would certainly not take his pacifier anymore; but I offered anyhow.  This was a good for the "big guns".  So we sat and he nursed and nursed and nursed for what seemed like hours.  Maybe I feel asleep in the rocking chair in his room.

My mind started drifting off to my own experience as a crying alarm clock.

I was 5, maybe 6, when my parents sent me to Girl Scout Camp.  Overnight Girl Scout Camp. The place where I was dubbed the "crying alarm clock".  I can recall the big tent we all sleep in, set-up high on a wooden platform; it was a giant over sized green version of a single person "army style" tent.  Very late 70s.  It had huge flaps on either end that folded up and opened the tent to the woods around.  Camp it's self was a pretty good deal.  I remember doing a lot of arts and crafts, and campfires, and this one day we ate our lunches out of pails in the lake.  The days were fun.  But bedtime and wake-up time were the worst.  Our cots where low metal bed, which resembled the orphanage in Annie (perhaps that was the problem), and every morning and every night I sat on my cot crying.  Hence the name "the crying alarm clock".

At some point last night I finished nursing the baby and went back to bed, and at some point I put my little crying alarm clock back in his crib and climbed back in my own bed.  And at some point after that I realized it was 5:22AM.  Where had the night gone?  How did I get so wrapped up in my own memories?

Regardless I sincerely hope the big boys first experience at overnight camp is better than mine.  He leaves in about 2 weeks.  I hope he doesn't cry like I did.  I hope he loves it so much he wants to go back again next year.  I hope, being a crying alarm clock is NOT a family trait.

Chitter Chatter

Monkey is starting to become very vocal - he loves chit chatting.  He'll babble and babble and babble; like he's having a real conversation with you; except you have no idea what language he's speaking.  All kidding aside he is picking up new words weekly now.

Here are some of the words in his ever expanding vocabulary:
Dada
Mama
Ay (for Ray)
Bi-Bo (big brother)
Ki-Ki (pronounced key-key, kitty)
Hi
Bye
Mmmmmmm (yum, he loves telling us when something tastes good)
Gen (again)
Ut-Oh
Uppie (for doggy/puppy)
Ish (fish, he LOVES watching fish)
Kah-Kah (nasty, gross, poo-poo, don't touch that, etc to the rest of us)

Fifty-one

My washing machine has been slowly going for the last few months.  Half the time the clothes just weren't spun out when the load was done.  But the problem was easily fixable, just run another spin cycle.  OK, OK I was treating the symptom and not the problem.  This fact hit home about a month ago when I went to run "another spin cycle" and my washing machine laughed at me.  Actually it was more of a grinding clanging sound.

Not good.

This was a Sunday and the laundry was fairly caught up, I was just doing a "bonus" load to teach Turkey how to operate the washing machine.  Yes, he had reached that magical age where he could start helping with the laundry.

A week went by and after church we went to the laundromat.  I felt prepared and ready.  I had gone to the bank on Friday and had $20 in quarters.

Then, before I could blink that $20 quarters was gone; AND I still wasn't done loading the machines.  I surveyed the piles around us; and somehow everything we owned was dirty.    How was this possible?  We had stopped using our cloth diapers when the machine broke.... OK, ok, cloth diapers really don't make up the bulk of our laundry.  It was nearly 2 weeks worth of clothes, and sheets, and towels, and more towels.

Sigh.  I considered becoming a nudist family.  Me and the boys would have no issue with this, but Husband yeah... not so much.  So $51 and 3 hours later our laundry was done.  You read that right - fifty-one dollars at the laundry mat.

The next week I was able to get away with spending $7.50, by washing everything in one load and drying it all at home.  And I only washed the essentials.

Sure the break from doing laundry every day has been wonderful; but it really is a pain in the butt to schlep to the laundromat not to mention the other small fortune we've spent on disposable diapers, refills for the diaper pain... and the poor rash that Monkey developed from all those disposable diapers.

Our washing machine served us well for nearly 9 years, but it's time had certainly come to an end.  We had considered fixing it; but the repairmen wanted $40 to just come to our house.  So alas we finally broke down and bought a new one. For an added bonus I was able to SELL the broken one, and get someone to haul it's poor tired broken frame out of my basement.

I never thought I would say this, but I cannot wait to get home tonight and do some laundry.  I'm actually looking forward to trying out my new machine.  It's the simple things, isn't it?

Book Review: This Little Mommy Stayed Home

This Little Mommy Stayed Home by Samantha Wilde

I will be honest I picked this book up from the library simply because the cover and title caught my attention as I was browsing the non-fiction books by authors whose names started with W.  I like going to the library and randomly picking a letter and trying to find a book by an author in that area to read... I will admit I am a little eccentric sometimes.

In my opinion this book should be required reading for all mothers, not just new mothers.  In this novel we follow heroine new mom, Joy, as she navigates her first year of motherhood.  And despite that fact that she is  adapting to life as a stay at home mom, this book is something working moms, second time and third time, etc moms can relate to.  There is something in this book for nearly every mom and mom-to-be out there.  Topics ranging from no-sleep, the added stress to marriage, finding yourself again after having baby, and even breastfeeding (swoon... I LOVE how she was able to write about breastfeeding in such a realistic, yet positive light) - it's a down to earth, this is real-life type of novel.

Really I cannot recommend this book enough; they should had this book out at child-birth class or when you start your baby-shower-registry.  If more women read this book and were able to realize they were not alone on this journey they call motherhood, I think their would be less of the mommy-wars*.

As an added bonus for me - she's a local author, which means I can count this book toward my summer reading challenge at the library.  

* Mommy-war (for those not current living the mommy-dream) are the debates that women feel they need to have with each other of simply, practical, and personal parenting choices ranging from diapering, schooling choices, work versus stay at home, baby-weraing or not, etc.  Remember the Time magazine cover?

Project Food Budget (Week 41)

Budget: $50
Actual: $33.35 - this doesn't include going out to dinner tomorrow night, but we have a gift card

Meals:
Sunday: pasta w/ meatballs and fruit salad and homemade rolls - recipe to come soon
Monday: (at home made) pizza and cucumbers
Tuesday: eggs and potatoes with applesauce
Wednesday: tuna casserole, green beans and fresh pineapple
Thursday: chicken tenders, carrots, cranberry sauce

All in all a pretty straight forward and boring week.  But you know, that's OK every now and then.

Maybe one of these other participants is more exciting this week. ;-)

• Emily Levenson
• Dairy-Free Cooking
• Cook Write Heal
• Warm As Pie
• xox, b
• Project Food Budget 2.0
• That's Just Me
• Two Eggs Over Easy
• Eat Whole Be Vital
• Four Happy Violets
• Pgh Dad
• yogabeautylife
• naMAMAste
• Six Dollars a Day
• What da Health?
• French Press
• Veggie Meal Maker
• Eryn Says...
• Charmingly Modern

Phone Calls

In the past few years I have had more phone calls that have started with - "This is So-And-So, I am calling to let you know that Your-Loved-One... has passed away, is in the hospital with food poisoning, was thrown off a horse, has fallen through a roof, has tried to - you get the idea.  Too many phone calls.  Let me rephrase, too many distressing phone calls.

So last night when the phone call began "Katie, this is Lila.  I am calling to let you know Virginia..." my heart stopped.  As she spoke I slowly walked into the other room, fearing the worse and not wanting to be around Turkey for the news.  After all Nana (Virginia) is 96, and she had been missing in action for 2 weeks, and the hospital said she had been discharged, and it was the day before the anniversary of my step-dad's passing.

Thankfully the words that followed where "is fine.  She is in a rehabilitation facility".

And breath.

I meekly asked if I could speak to her, expecting her voice to sound more frail, more distant.  Instead what I got was her, her old self her.  She sounded better than she had in months.  Maybe it was me, but she sounded down right chipper.

Then she joked, "I've had Lila calling everyone for me so they know I am OK.  Can you believe it, people where actually looking for me in the obituaries?"

Ha, I laughed.  A dry sarcastic laugh.  I too had been looking in the obituaries for her.  Would I admit this to her?  Never, so I just laughed again.

God, do I love that women.  I really hope when I am 96 I have half the energy, spunk and spark she has.  I hope I can make jokes about my own mortality.  She has lived through a lot, not just the depression and all the wars of the last century, but she's also lost two of her children (while they were relatively young) and her husband (who was also relatively young) and countless other friends and family members, and survived a house fire.  She truly is a fighter.  And while I know some day the call I had last night will go another direction I pray, everyday, that that day is a few years down the road.

Project Food Budget (Week 40)

Wow... week 40!!  How did that happen?

Anyhow my budget this week was $125; and I didn't actually go grocery shopping.

I made one stop for taco fixings and spent $30 (including diapers... that's a whole other post); and I made a mid-week fruit stop and spent another $15.  We spent $10 on ice-cream, $5 at the farm stand, $15 on a Schwans' order and $25 on pizza.  So $100 total.

Meals this week consisted of:
Sunday: Taco night (Turkey's pick)
Monday: ham steaks, baked beans and salad
Tuesday: went for a picnic in the park, had sandwiches and fruit.  Went out of ice cream.
Wednesday: grilled chicken salads with (leftover) beans and corn on the cob
Thursday: pizza (Husband's pick)
Friday: kielbasa and sides
Saturday: leftovers


In the words of my friend Erica, over at Warm as Pie (who got me hooked on this project):

Forty weeks is a long time to commit to a project.  Ask any mom who made it to the end of a pregnancy!  Please reward my fellow budget bloggers with a glance at their posts.

Participating blogs:

• Dairy-Free Cooking
• Cook Write Heal
• Warm As Pie
• xox, b
• Project Food Budget 2.0
• That’s Just Me
• Two Eggs Over Easy
• Eat Whole Be Vital
• Four Happy Violets
• Pgh Dad
• yogabeautylife
• naMAMAste
• Six Dollars a Day
• What da Health?
• French Press
• Veggie Meal Maker
• Eryn Says…

Cherries on a Cloud

For the longest time Gram used to ask me to make her a coconut cake for her birthday (which is the 4th); but then Husband came along and he's allergic to coconut (so I don't keep any in the house) and she would be happy with most any cake I made her.

I'd like to think she would have enjoyed today's yummy pie I made - Cherries on a Cloud; also known as no bake cheesecake with cherries.

I had to give it a new name because Turkey doesn't like your standard New York style cheesecake; but I knew he'd love this.  It's the perfect hot weather desert.

Beat 2 packages of cream cheese, softened along with 1 tablespoon lemon juice.
Once creamy add 1 pint heavy whipping cream; and whip until soft peaks.  Add 2/3 cup of sugar and 1 tablespoon vanilla; beat until fairly stiff peaks form.  Pour into a (pre-made) graham cracker crust and top with cherries (or what have you).  Refrigerate for at least 6 hours before serving.

When serving to the toddler crowd wear a rain jacket or bring an umbrella.  

Yummy Sand

The boys and I were outside playing in the sandbox after dinner.

I started the evening amazed, totally floored, by the number of outside trucks, buckets, shovels, and the like I had of Turkey's in the basement.  These toys haven't seen the light of day in at least one summer.

Had he grown too old for them?  It appeared not this evening as he happily played with his brother.

Had I been too busy, so self-absorbed, to take them out for him?  Perhaps.  I would like to think that it was more a case that I assumed he was too big to play with Tonka Trucks.

Or maybe it was a case of something old being new again; now that he had his brother to share the experience with.

So after my brief bout of mom-guilt and reflection I noticed Monkey trying to use the shovel like a spoon.

Me: Don't eat that.  YUCKY.

Him (taking a small taste): Yuuuummmmm.

Me: No.  Yucky.

Big brother giggles in the back ground.

Him (taking a bigger bite of sand): YYYYYUUUUUMMMMM!!!! (grins ear to ear)

Me: Yuck.  Poo-Poo.

Big Brother: Don't knock it until you've tried it.  It's not bad.  A little salty and it would probably be better with honey on it.

*gag*

Yum!! (gag)

He said he was making a pregnant lady belly.  (sigh)

Sleep Glorious Sleep

I don't require much sleep, an average amount I suppose.  Around 7 hours.  But it needs to be an unbroken sleep.

Unbroken sleep had been a pipe dream recently.  Monkey has been teething.  Four at a time kind of teething.  Four in a months time, kind of teething.  The type of teething that makes he grouchy during the day; and brings on restless sleep at night.  You get the idea.  Obviously a solid nights sleep is something I hadn't seen in many moons.

Until last night.  And it was heavenly!!!

I woke on my own accord, shortly before my alarm went off.  I thought about getting up and charging into his room to see if he was still breathing.  (Don't all moms do this?)  But I decided against it, and snuggled up to Husband pondering my very strange.

In my dream I was married to Husband, and we were hanging out at the childhood home.  All of my brother's were still alive and my parents we not divorced.  And while we were there Ben Affleck was hanging around.  He had a crush on me.  And when I wasn't running away from Ben I was talking breastfeeding with Jennifer Garner.  I gotta tell ya, I am NOT a Ben Affleck fan.  He is so not my style.  I'm more a Vince Vaughn kinda gal.  It was a very strange dream.  But at least it was a dream.  During my 7 hours of unbroken sleep.

In case your wondering I ended up waking Monkey at 6:40 to nurse him.  I was ready to explode and had to get a move on it as well before I was late for work.  Too bad things like this, his sleeping in that is, don't happen on the weekend.

July

Today is July 1st.

I have been in denial about July coming for weeks now.  At work I have a four-month display calendar.  It has a marker so you know what calendar week of the year it is, and it has a red marker so you know exactly what day it is.  I haven't moved either into their correct and current position in weeks.  Tomorrow when I go in I will have to pull off the previous months and accept the fact that July is here.

I've been dreading July.  I haven't been myself lately because of it.  I am filled with fear, and loathing, and sadness.  I am hoping they pull my number for federal jury duty (I'm on call all summer for it); so I have something else to thing about, something else to do.

I should be turning to my friends and family, but I can't.  I know I should be calling my mom; I worry about her.  Even through she tells me all the time not to.  I am sure we could help each other get through this summer.

My Grandma was born on the 4th of July.  We've always celebrated the holiday around her birthday.  She would have been 77 this year.  September will mark a year since her passing.  Last year we made plans with her to take her to dinner the weekend following her birthday.  She wanted to go to Cracker Barrel for her chicken and dumplings, with two sides of dumplings.  She loved their dumplings.

We didn't make it that weekend.  My step-father passed away in the days leading up to that weekend.

July 11, 2011.

It's hard to believe it's been nearly a year.  Some days I feel like time has stood still.  Like I need to get on with my life; that I shouldn't let two events from last summer hold me back from living.

I am working on that.  Taking it one day at a time.  I know time heals, but it doesn't erase what has happened.  Acceptance.  I'm working on that.

So bear with me dear reader as we make our way though July.  I will do my best not to turn this blog into a sniveling, melancholy, self-serving yet depressing ball of mush.  

Project Food Budget (Week 38)

Here I am, late again on Project Food Budget.  hanging my head in shame


Budget: $125
Spent: $101

Meals:
Monday: Spaghetti and Meatballs with salad
Tuesday: scrambled eggs and yogurt parfaits
Wednesday: buttermilk pancakes  These totally ROCKED.
Thursday: Cub Scout cook-out.  We brought freeze pops and tortillas and salsa.
Friday: Out to eat before the Kid's Library Party
Saturday: grinders (Husband's pick)
Sunday (today): tacos (Turkey's pick)

The pancake recipe (if you click on the link you can get it) made a TON of pancakes and the boys have been eating them all week for breakfast.  I love when things line up like that.

Don't forget to check out these other project participants.

• Emily Levenson
• Dairy-Free Cooking
Cook Write Heal
Warm As Pie
xox, b
Project Food Budget 2.0
That's Just Me
Two Eggs Over Easy
Eat Whole Be Vital
Four Happy Violets
Pgh Dad
yogabeautylife
naMAMAste
Six Dollars a Day
What da Health?
French Press
Veggie Meal Maker
Eryn Says...