Want To Do

I am reading "Breaking the Good Mom Myth" (again, and a long over due again I might add) by Alyson Schafer; and the first chapter is dedicated to breaking the myth that good moms put their child in front of everything else; including caring for there own self.  The premise is that when mom is happy, healthy, and well rounded she is better able to care for her family and they in turn will be happier, healthier, and more well rounded.

This got me thinking about things I want to do; things I've long wanted to do FOR ME.  Yet, I've always had an excuse why to NOT do these things - so I'm going to take some time to review that list.

~ Run.  I've wanted to be a runner for a while.  I love the idea of running (or jogging or just plain walking) in the early morning hours, while the world is still quiet and the light is just right.  Will I make a good runner, will I be able to do it?  I have no idea because I've never tried.  I've always had one excuse after another - I need my sleep, the baby needs to nurse, etc, etc.

~ Wear cute shoes.  I own 6 pairs of shoes: flip-flops, black flats, black slip-ons (my mom calls these my ugly shoes), brown practical shoes, sneakers, and silver strappy heels.  Wow, that sounds like a lot when I write it out; but I am guessing my shoe collection is far smaller than most women's my age.  I would really like some cute, hip, fun shoes.  Why don't I buy them?  Because I am constantly putting my kids first.  I will buy them things they do not need (or want) before I buy things for myself; including things I need.  I am falling into the mom-martyrdom here.  Big. Time.

~ Wear make-up.  I wear none.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  For years I made this one of my New Year's resolutions.  The longest this ever lasted; about 6 weeks.  This year I didn't even attempt it.  I claim I have "no time" and that I am "too busy".  After all a "good mother" has time for her kids and not herself, right?  I think wearing make-up will help me feel better about my looks.  I can face the facts that my skin is starting to show my age with fine lines appearing and a very uneven skin tone.  For this I think I need to start small.  But I will admit I am clueless in this area.

OK, so there you have it.  Three things I want to do, but don't do because I put my kids first.  Do I think my own personal image or health has suffered because I am neglecting myself?  Yes.  Do I think taking care of me will make my kids happier, health and more well rounded?  Ehn, this I am not sure on.  But what do I have to loose?